Today just for laughs I dressed all in black, fishnet sleeves, Art's black hat, fun times. If I had black makeup I probably would've worn some. At one point, I passed Mindy in the hall, she said "You sketchball! I'm not touching you when you're dressed like that!" Literally the next second, I saw Arya, she held her arms out and screamed, "That's so hot!"
I have the strangest of friends...

After school, I showed Devon, Kristine and Kyle the latest video project, then Kyle showed us some of his old projects from past years. Poor James...why does everyone ask him to be the outcast in their videos? ...Apparently, because he's damn good at it.








When you wake up with your family
Gathered around
Remember that our love was true
And I will not allow you
To destroy yourself
And I hope that I'm not
Revealing too much...

Charred to the bone, your flesh is burnt.
Tissues molten bodily gases inert.
Human inferno, blazing eruption,
Evaporating marrow, spontaneous combustion.
Carcass - Burnt to a Crisp

Do I really look that old...?

Nancy: So what are you, you're a student...?
Me: Yeah, I'm a sophomore in high school.
Nancy: A sophomore in med school?
Me: ...High school.
Nancy: High school?
Mark: Mom, your age radar is off. So you're what...16 or 17?
Me: ...15.







I can still recall
The way you looked that fall
In your favorite dress
The day before you left
And since that time
I wrote a simple rhyme
And I miss you and the things you do
The times we had the good and bad
The day we met that I can't forget
Signed, Sincerely Me

I had the pleasure of finding a new AIM robot to take out all my frustrations on the other day. Who else but AIM to provide that pre-Thanksgiving holiday cheer in the form of SantaClaus, the robot with the identity crisis. This thing was seriously programmed to trick small gullible children into thinking it is the fact the big jolly one himself, so at first I was rather disgusted. The sheer audacity was appalling. But then, with the help of Jillian, I realized how much fun this programming really was...

Well Better Than Ezra is playing at the Webster on December 2nd. (well Josh, I guess you weren't lying...) Definately want to go to that...just need to find someone to go with, because my parents aren't going to let me go alone...not that I'd want to. Also need to get my parents to let me go in the first place...must find some way to convince them that I'm not going to get killed/raped/do drugs/whatever else they're afraid will happen...







Saturday night you're going out
Parking lot a figure come about
Feel a piece click against your head
Pleading to his sympathy
"Take the car, I got a family"
You hear a laugh
"It don't mean shit to me"

One more murder in this town

"Give a kiss to the person who sits next to you."

Heh...pity I wasn't sitting anywhere when I got this one...

Hey, so Thanksgiving actually wasn't that bad this year. No video games...just movies, which I watched and the small children weren't allowed to watch so that was cool. When we were in the basement the younger small child was generally successful in finding people to play ping pong with, so she left me alone for the most part. So yeah...I still wanted to go home, but I wasn't bored out of my mind or hating my surroundings this year. So next year, I just need to complain a lot about Thanksgiving like I did this year. And fate will decide to make me shut up again by allowing me to almost enjoy myself. yay!

The most mind-numbing day of the year.
Bring on the pie.
Goddam I love pie.
If anyone other than Sarah ever reads this, let me know how much you love pie.
Sarah, I know you love pie...or at least I hope you love pie.
I certainly do.

Pie Forever
Josh

"Rest has a peaceful effect on your physical and emotional health."

Wow...wouldn't that be nice?










"I don't want to hate him. I just wish I had never met him."

Does anyone else find Thanksgiving absolutely meaningless? Or is something just wrong with me? For the past couple years, I haven't really thought about Thanksgiving until, say, 2 days before. And then I'm just like "...Oh. Thanksgiving. Okay then." I really wouldn't miss it if it disappeared. Wouldn't really notice if for some reason we skipped it one year. We've been going to a family friend's house for Thanksgiving for a while now, and every year, I really just can't wait until it's over and we go home. I mean...we go there early afternoon, all the teenage boys go to the basement and lose themselves in video games. I'm the only teenage girl, and I get stuck with whatever little kids happen to be there...they seem to be strangely attracted to me somehow.
So then at some point we start eating, I deal with the usual questions about why I don't want any turkey, finish eating quite a bit earlier than everyone else. Of course the little 7 year old girl finishes eating about the same time I do... "Come on! Let's go play hide and seek!" "Umm...wait...I'm not done eating." (yes, I'm a horrible person, but this gets old fast.)
So after dinner is a repeat of early afternoon, boys playing videogames, me trying unsuccessfully to avoid the small children. I usually end up pleading insanity, excuse me, fatigue, and go lie down on the couch. Unless the football game is on, in which case I go upstairs and hope that Mrs. B. tells her niece that I'm not feeling well, leave me alone, etc.
Yeah, Thanksgiving means absolutely nothing to me. Maybe if we went to my aunt's house like we used to I wouldn't mind so much, but she lives in Florida now.

But hey, maybe this year there might be a girl my age, or a guy my age who I haven't known since elementary school and isn't glued to the game controls.

Maybe I can hitch a ride down to Florida.

Not like this'll actually be weekly or anything, but...

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

Hey everyone...I've started selling girl scout cookies again. Yay!
Yeah, so, I got the order form wicked late, so I've got 5 days (until November 27) to sell cookies. So everyone...buy girl scout cookies! They're fun and delicious and you'll be supporting girl scouts, which is always good.
They're $4 per box, your choices are: Caramel deLites, Peanut Butter Patties, Shortbread, Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Reduced Fat Lemon Pastry Cremes, Animal Treasures (shortbread w/ chocolate coating on one side), and Iced Berry Pinatas (strawberry jam and cinnamon crumbs).
So if you want to buy girl scout cookies, either give me a call or talk to me in school (not synagogue it'll be too late by the time I next go there). Pleeeeease! (you know you want some)


Do you believe in subliminal buy cookies messages?

After school, Andrew and I had a contest to see who could get the most people to say "yes" to the question, "will you marry me?" Andrew won, I think he got 23 (I had 10)...but he had a head start. But still...Devon said she would marry me 2o times. So did Arya. I feel so loved. : D

Kristine: But I'm your first wife, not Ayra.
Me: Wait...I thought Devon was...oh wait, no. Andrew's my first wife.

Me: What did you say to Josh?
Art: I don't remember.
Me: Did you tell him to bite me?
Art: Hahaha, oh yeah, I did.
Me: Why?
Art: Because you enjoy it so much.
Me: I do not!
Art: Of course you do...you're just playing hard-to-bite.
Me: Then why do I slap you every time you bite me?!
Art: ...Because you don't want me to know how much you like it.



Strangest dream last night...James was trying to kill me. He had a sword. It was kinda freaky.

Lotsa fun stuff today, between bagel selling and Josh coming over to make doorlock kits and other such nonsense...really don't remember much of it *grarrr!!!* so I'm gonna ask Josh to blog about it later...
At one point, we called Art and Josh pretended that he was "Big Mac", and Art owed him $600, but Art could hear me laughing in the background so that kinda ruined it. We also called Shreya and Josh tried to pretend to be someone strange, but he couldn't figure out who he was so he messed it up.

To Dave, about Josh...
Corey: Well, you could wait until February to get it for him, but Valentine's Day is in February, and that could present a whole new problem...I mean, I don't have a problem with that at all, frankly, I think you two would make a cute couple. You compliment each other.
Dave and Josh: *wordless outrage*
Me: Hey, you would make a really adorable couple though.
Corey: See? Sarah agrees with me too.



I would like it noted that Josh has had his salmon privleges and his tape gun privleges revoked.







"Well that is that and this is this
You tell me what you want
I'll tell you what you get
You get away from me
You get away from me"

And it's happened once again
You'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone
And you've been there for too long
To face this on your own
Well I guess this is growing up

I wish there was a pill that would keep you from crying for, say, an hour, after you take it. Then I could tell my parents everything. I know that some people my age hate their parents...but I'm not like that. I love them, even if they piss me off sometimes. I want to tell them what's going on. But I wouldn't be able to. Some people can still keep talking when they cry, but as soon as I start I can't get a coherent word out, I can't explain what's wrong, which just upsets me even more. I keep telling myself that it's okay that I'm keeping everything from them, because they never ask me if I'm okay, but I know that that's a bullshit excuse. Every day they ask me how my day went, how school was, and I always answer, "Fine." And just yesterday, my dad was all worried about me because I was wearing black nail polish...he thought I was depressed or upset about something, and he asked me if I was okay, I told him it was just for the film (which was true). He asked me again if I was sure I was okay, and I told him I was, the whole time I was thinking, "liar liar liar..."

On a much brighter note...I've actually been feeling relatively happy the last several days. I like to describe it as "bouncy". Just been really hyper and happy and having random laughing fits for no apparent reason...Sam and Kristine know why. Don't think anyone else has to know yet tho... : D






Will you say to me
When I'm gone
"Your face has faded but
Lingers on"
'Cause light strikes a deal with each
Coming night
Coming night...

Filmed the 3rd video project today. In this video, James was all sad and depressed because everyone hated him, so he went to go jump off a bridge (the bridge near Chuckie's...yeah it's like 10 feet high but for our purposes it worked...) and then I stopped him from jumping. Nick stood in the stream below the bridge and filmed up...he got to wear big rubber boots. James and I both dressed all in black and had black face makeup stuff...twas fun.
After I stopped him from jumping, there was a part where there was a closeup of both of our faces, to show that we had the same makeup and stuff (symbolism...he's not as alone as he thinks he is...), Nick shot that part, he kept saying things like, "Come on now, move closer. Oh, that's hot. Come on, move closer, let's have some sexyness here." and making both of us laugh, messing up the shot...

"Okay, take your jacket off."

Nick: Please? I'll have sex with you.
James: I don't want sex right now.
Nick: What do you want?
James: ...A strip tease.

Nick: I don't know...those male gymnasts...
James: Come on, I only know one homosexual male gymnast.
Nick: Only one who's out.
James: ...Thanks, Nick.
Nick: Hey, who was the one grabbing another guy's ass before?
James: Oh yeah.

After we finished filming, we went to Chuckie's and got food. James got 2 slim jims, 2 cupcakes, a pound cake, and a bottle of fanta, and challenged himself to finish eating it all before we got back to the high school (about a five minute walk). He did it. And then he felt sick. We tried to get him to throw up...he spun around in circles and tried to do a handstand, but fell over. I got it all on tape. : D
That didn't make him throw up, but he almost did when I poked him in the stomach.

Saw West Side Story again tonight...I actually got to see more of it tonight than I did last week...I wasn't sitting between Art and Josh this time...I was actually sitting next to Art the second half of the play, but he was busy trying to help Devon with her migrane...


In the words of Scottie..."You are a soldier you are"

[Bumper] Sticker

A whole generation demands peace

Let the IDF win

A strong people makes peace

Let the IDF take them down

No peace with Arabs

Dont give them guns

There is no service like combat service, bro

Draft for all [or]

exemption for all

There is no despair

in the world

Judea, Samaria and Gaza are here!

[within the Green Line]Na, Nah, Nahman, the faithful

No Fear, the Messiahs in town

No Arabs, no terror attacks

The Supreme Court endangers Jews

The people are with the Golan

The people are for [population] transfer

Test in Yarka [sticker of a vehicle inspection garage in the village of Yarka]

Friend, you are missed

The Holy One, blessed be He, we vote for [choose] You

Direct elections [for prime minister] are bad

The Holy One, blessed be He, we are your zealots

Death to zealots [or "death to the jealous" in cases where the sticker appears on very old cars]

CHORUS:How much evil can you swallow?

Father have mercy, Father have mercy

They call me Nachman and I stammer

How much evil can you swallow?

Father have mercy, Father have mercy

Thank God I’m breathing

A State based on halacha is no State at all

He who is born wins

Long live the Messiah

I trust the peace of Sharon

Hebron from time immemorial and forever

He who is not born loses

Hebron, city of the Fathers

Peace through Transfer

Kahane was right

CNN lies

We need a strong leader

Peace please, thank you for security

We have no children for needless wars

The Left helps the Arabs

Bibi is good for the Jews

Oslo criminals [should be brought] to justice

We here, they [the Arabs] there

You do not forsake brothers [on the battle field, or by implication settlers in the Territories]

Uprooting the settlements divides the people

Death to traitors

Let the animals live

Death to values

Liquidate, kill, expel, mislead

No Fear, subdue, quarantine, punishment of death

Lay waste, destroy, rout, eradicate

It's all your fault, Haver [Friend]

120 Israeli Bumper Stickers

Compiled By: David Grossman

Sung By: Hadag Nachash (snake fish)

Death to the wicked.

Josh out..

שירת הסטיקרמאת דויד גרוסמן
דור שלם דורש שלוםתנו לצה"ל לנצחעם חזק עושה שלוםתנו לצה"ל לכסחאין שלום עם ערביםאל תתנו להם רוביםקרבי זה הכי אחיגיוס לכולם, פטור לכולםאין שום ייאוש בעולםיש"ע זה כאןנ נח נחמן מאומןNo Fear, משיח בעיראין ערבים אין פיגועיםבג"ץ מסכן יהודיםהעם עם הגולןהעם עם הטרנספרטסט בירכאחבר, אתה חסרהקדוש ברוך הוא אנחנו בוחרים בךבחירה ישירה זה רעהקדוש ברוך הוא אנחנו קנאים לךימותו הקנאים
כמה רוע אפשר לבלועאבא תרחם אבא תרחםקוראים לי נחמן ואני מגמגםכמה רוע אפשר לבלועאבא תרחם אבא תרחםברוך השם אני נושם
מדינת הלכה - הלכה המדינהמי שנולד הרוויחיחי המלך המשיחיש לי בטחון בשלום של שרוןחברון מאז ולתמידומי שלא נולד הפסידחברון עיר האבותשלום טרנספרכהנא צדקCNN משקרצריך מנהיג חזקסחתין על השלום תודה על הבטחוןאין לנו ילדים למלחמות מיותרותהשמאל עוזר לערביםביבי טוב ליהודיםפושעי אוסלו לדיןאנחנו כאן הם שםאחים לא מפקיריםעקירת ישובים מפלגת את העםמוות לבוגדיםתנו לחיות לחיותמוות לערכים
כמה רוע אפשר...




Don't you wish your computer supported Hebrew text?

Josh out...

It...won't...let...me...fucking...post...the...fucking...pictures....becuase....my computer....is so.....fucking......fucked.

Sorry.

I'll just e-mail them to Sarah and we'll see what magic she can work.

Josh out..

Well, I saw one of the school psychologists today. (There Dave, ya happy? : P)
It seems that *someone* has been taking more than their share of my emotional pie.
I believe what she said was something like this..."You only have a limited amount of emotional energy. Say that your emotional energy is a pie...*someone* has been taking too many slices of the pie."

Nick was being prejudiced and nickish after school today...so I kicked him. 'twas fun.

In a week or so I'm going to get to go to James's gym and videotape him doing all sorts of insane, impossible stunts. Yay!

Josh...can't wait to see the pics of you in a dress. : D






Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I won't ever ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Why can't I feel anything for anyone other than you?

I lost to Travis.

Damnit.

"My team is so gonna cream your team at ultimate frisbee"

"You're so full of shit."

"Fine, the losing team's captain...that's us, Josh...the losing team's captain has to photograph himself in a dress and give the photo to the other one."

Elyse - I have a dress from my "fat stage" that might fit you guys!

Damn everyone. And Elyse, you're full of shit too...you were insanely small and skinny EVEN in your "fat stage"...whatever...is everyone catching my drift?

I photographed myself in a dress today.

It was liberating.

It had little cherries on it.

It barely, barely fit me.

I couldn't get the pantyhose on.

I took 4 pictures.

I'll post them here tommorrow.

Josh out..

There was some rather amusing stuff after school today. But I've only got one thing to say.


No one should have to face the possibility of lung cancer at age 17.

And yet he keeps smoking.

Can anyone spot what's wrong with this picture?








"Slowly killing himself
With each breath
You want to ask him why
You want to tell him
Tell him that his coping
Will end in his death
You don’t say a word
You know the response
'Good.'"

Went to the mall with Taco and Sam. Lotsa hilarious fun.

Camera phone...
"I can't see my face!"

Bra shopping...
"That's like, size M!"
"It's a hat!"
"Taco, you have your own bra company!"
Taco wearing the "meant to show" stretch tank top...

Hot Topic...
*holds up bra* "How about this one, Sam?"
*look of horror*

*holds up white leather miniskirt* "Think this is me, Taco?"
*look of horror*
Glow-in-the-dark guy pants, purple plaid capris, I got free rings with my bracelets!!!

"Your mom is going to kill us."

"Think my mom will believe me if I tell her these new pants are a bra?"

Hysterical laughter in the corner drinking our DQ stuff...I swear those people thought we were stoned.

"I CAN'T SEE MY FACE!"

"SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY EYES!!"






"Sometimes they keep me home at night
Where I duck under the covers and wince when I see the light."

Hmm...there was a private showing of the house this morning, so we had to disappear for an hour...
There's an open house from 1-3 this afternoon, so we all have to disappear again. Going to the mall with Scottie and whoever else I can round up.


About Art's niece...
Art: the kid is funny as hell
Art: I'll say in the deepest scariest voice I can "I AM THE SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!" and it looks up at me stupidly and smiles




Oh now feel it comin' back again
Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it.

West Side Story tonight...good times. I really only saw about half of it, whose fault was that? I'd say it was a combination between Art and Josh.

Art: I'm doing a complete reversal of roles here. You bought the tickets, so I'm going to lean on your shoulder.
Me: ...
Art: This is when you yawn.

Okay, so this turned just a wee bit awkward.

Second half of the play, Josh came and sat with us, I was sitting between the two of them, which turned out to be an unfortunate lapse of judgement on my part. They ganged up on me. I had to slap both of them a couple times, which was actually kinda amusing.

Art and Josh having sexual fantasies involving Joe's red suspenders...

"YEAH RED SUSPENDERS! WOO!!"

Art has to stop biting people...

"That wasn't even a bite, it was a chew!"
"...."

After the play, Josh finally got to meet his almost hero, James. After I pointed James out to him, Josh ran over, jumped on James, hugged him, and screamed, "I LOVE YOU!" James hugged him back and said something like, "I love you too! I have no idea who the hell you are !"
I find it funny how James just accepts strange guys jumping on him. You'd think it happens all the time.

And now Josh is obsessing over how good James smelled. And how part of his sleeve now smells like James.



Josh: btw, your elbow tastes HORRIBLE.

Josh: and uh, I didn't mean to like feel up ur leg...I thought that was Art.

Me: yeah, so, I saw maybe half the play tonight, but I had two guys hitting on me so it all kinda evened out
Me: *cough*
Josh: hey, u had one guy hitting on u and then one guy trying to hit on the other guy but screwing up
Josh: GET IT RIGHT




I feel pretty...

hahahaha....

"HE TOUCHED MY HAND!!!"

hah...wow.


I styled Taco's hair during lunch today. I put most of it in little ponytails using the little dentist rubber band things and plastered the rest of it down with the wax. Then I signed her neck. Wish I got a picture of it, it was hilarious.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?"


Saw Art after school. Went to Chuckie's...yay for cherry pie.

Art: Don't give me the puppy eyes!
Me: ..I don't have puppy eyes.
Art: Gah! Look the other way!

Poke fights, stomping on toes, slipping, Art trying to dump me in the mud...

Art: If you fell in the mud, I would die laughing.
Me: If you dump me in the mud, I'm gonna kill you.
Art: That would be hilarious.
Me: What, me falling in the mud or me killing you?
Art: ...both.

And then he said "give me a hug", and picked me up and tried to drop me in the mud. All I got was my glove muddy, and I wiped it off on his jacket.


Art playing Cradle of Filth and other such nonsense over the phone...my ears are bleeding...


Art got hit by a car for the 10th time today...cripes. If I didn't know better I'd say he was trying. *cough*

I don't know Mark. He was probably pointed out to me at one point a few years ago, but I never would have been able to spot him in a crowd, or notice him if I passed him on the street. My brother met him at summer camp, 2001.
He was a passenger in a car crash yesterday, and died this morning.
It's scary. You meet someone one day and you have no way of knowing if they'll still be alive in 1, 2, 3 years. Friends from camp. Sometimes you may not keep in touch with them for more than a few weeks or months, but they're still in the back of your mind. If something happened to them, would you know? Would someone call you and tell you? Or would you just keep living your life, having no clue, until one day you decide to maybe give them a call and instead of hearing their voice you hear, "She passed away two months ago." "He was killed last year."
Terrifying. Life is fragile. Cherish it.

I seriously reccomend you all go out, right now, and buy the album Emotive by A Perfect Circle. Not only is it by the best band EVER, but it was released on election day, and is all really kickass covers of old 60's war protest songs by like john lennon and joni mitchell and shit, plus two original songs. The cover art is really kickass too. I have been listening to this thing for like 3 days straight now, and have named it Josh's Best Fucking Album EVER! That's saying something. Go buy it, illegally download it, steal it from some kid you see on the street with a walkman, whatever. Just listen to it.
Fuck the government. Long live democracy.

Dead as dead can be, my doctor tells me
But I just cant believe him, never the optimistic one

Im sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy
Wake up and face me, dont play dead cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say, "You disappoint me",
Maybe youre better off this way
Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been

Its your right and your ability To become…my perfect enemy…
Wake up and face me, dont play dead cause maybe
Someday Ill walk away and say, "You disappoint me",
Maybe youre better off this way
Maybe youre better off this way
Maybe youre better off this way
Maybe youre better off this way
Youre better of this…youre better off this… Maybe youre better off...

Wake up and face me, dont play dead cause maybe Someday
Ill walk away and say, "You fucking disappoint me!"
Maybe youre better off this way
Go ahead and play dead I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead

Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

- Josh

Okay, so it didn't turn out that bad...one less thing to worry about now, I guess.


I really have to stop eating that Halloween candy. I'm going to get a bazillion cavities. Seriously...last time I went to the dentist there were six spots in my mouth that were potential cavity spots. I bet by now at least half of them have turned into cavities.

I wonder why I eat chocolate/sweet stuff when I'm feeling crappy. Like...comfort food, you know? That was my reasoning. But it never makes me feel better. It just makes me feel disgusting and crappier.
My mom got some ice cream today...I don't know why I bothered taking any, I didn't really want it. But I took a bowl, and then ate less than half of it before I started feeling nauseus and threw the rest out. blerg.

So I went with "bitch". Let's see how this unfolds.

I must say, Josh looks damn sexy in Andrew's hat.

Josh: You look like a pissed-off Scotsman.

Josh: I look Irish!


"SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY EYES!!!!"

I tried styling Taco's hair today. Sam sacrificed that majority of what was left in her hair foamy gel stuff bottle for this purpose. Sadly, Taco's hair is like an inch long, so I was unsuccessful in getting it to stay in little spikes. She said that on Friday she'll bring in wax and little rubber bands and I'll try it again with the sort-of right stuff.

Taco: *reading bottle* This stuff is non-drying!?!
Rachel: Oh, it'll dry eventually.
Taco: It says non-drying!!


No school tomorrow.
I appreciate the day off, but I wonder why anyone bothers. Like...it's Veteran's Day. A day off to honor and remember the veterans who've served our country. But how many kids think about that? We use this day to sleep and vegetate. Shameful, but true.


Ah, decisions...I'll feel like a bitch if I do, a liar if I don't...lesser evil? Please?



Happens every time, so it must be true
Step on a kid, he'll grow up hating you
Poison in everything you said
Don't you, don't you
Wonder what difference does it make....Either way
Were you ever kind
Were you always cruel?
Who's ever seen that other side of you?
Happened every time, so it must be true
Where did you learn it's either him or you?
You were almost kind, you were almost true
Don't let me see that other side of you
You have learned in time that you must be cruel
I'll have to wait to get the best of you

How well do you know me?

I was bored, so take this quiz and find out.

Today when I told Mindy I wasn't moving, she slammed her books on the ground, and attacked me, screaming. Ok, so she was hugging me, but for a second it definately seemed like she was pissed off and was attacking me.

After school, fun times editing the music video. Cold outside...warm huddle groups, singing Phil's bear song while jumping up and down...

When I got home from school I saw the realtor's "for sale" sign in front of the house. Three days ago, this would have ruined my day and made me feel like crap. Now I just smile. Because even if the house sells, I'm not gonna be moving to the other side of the country. : D




"I feel I must interject here"

A couple quotes I've recalled from yesterday:


Art: It's a bug...
Me: Did you kill it?
Art: Yeah.
Me: Why?
Art: Because it's there. And I saw it.
Me: Well that's kinda freaky because I'm here and you can see me.
Art: Well, you're not a bug.


Me: ...My mom used to call me that when I was like, 5.
Art: hahaha...I'm gonna make a screen name of that now.
Me: I bet it's taken.
Art: I'll add a number to it.
Me: How many Sarah's do you suppose there are in the world?
Art: ...One.
Me: I'm the only Sarah?
Art: Yes.


Art: (after causing me to trip, stumble, lose balance, etc...) My, you are a klutz.



"I can't count the number of tape gun related injuries I've had over the past few years."

I was so happy last night and this morning. It's just not right that I feel so crappy now.


"She knew that what she was really suffering from was disillusionment, but that was something she was not ready to think of yet."





"Don't wake me I'm glad I'm sleeping..."

Guess who's not moving to Arizona? That's right, baby. The Move is not happening for at least another two and a half years. No more Impending Arizona. I'm so happy. My parents are freaks. They're just like "yeah...we're thinking maybe it would be better to wait until you guys graduate."
But this aspect of freakyness, I am quite happy with. Oh man.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Just for fun, I'll post some of the reactions of a few friends...either initial or later on in the conversation, depending on which is funnier/sweeter.

Brian: All I saw was "MOVING!!!!!" because you wrote the letters way too big, and I was like NOOOOO Sarah's leaving!!!! but then I scrolled up and I was like YAYYYYYY

Shreya: oh
oh
oh wow
oh
oh my god
what?
when?
why?

Shreya (later): Oh man Sarah. Go have a beer or something.

Kristine: IF UR LYING TO ME I'M GONNA CRY

aaaaack that's all for now I gotta go call some people...

Today was a day of more getting casa Schaffer ready for tomorrow. (Tomorrow. Yikes.)
Art came over bright and early to help out, he forgot to cover up the eyebrow ring, but I don't think my parents noticed. Art says, "Well I couldn't find any bandaids and I didn't want to use electrical tape."
One of our projects was putting a stone edger around the mulch at the side of the house. It was pathetic. We didn't know what we were doing. Hopefully my dad won't notice the crappy job we did. Art had fun using the hatchet and then offered himself as a sacrifice when I used it.
After that excerise in futility, we put grass seed over the dead patches of grass in the yard. I SWEAR we didn't have a grass seed fight...
Or maybe we did. But he started it. I got got grass seed down my shirt. Art says, "It's not smart to attack the person holding the bag."
We fixed the bathroom sink after that and Art got to fit himself in the cupboard under the sink in order to do this. During this episode we learned the true meaning of "If it's not one thing, it's another."
During lunch, dad told stories from college, such as when he and some buddies moved the contents of a male friend's dorm room into the girls' bathroom.
Josh came around 1:30, Dave around 2-ish. We worked in the basement for a while doing business-related stuff. Josh named the shop vac, and all of the air hoses he put together. He was also lucky enough to see a COMPLETED doorlock kit! He's made parts for doorlock kits, but he's never actually seen one...

Throughout the day, Art kept singing "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" over and over and over...I was ready to strangle him. : D

I actually had a lot of fun today. It was nice having my friends help out.

Youth group meeting after...Josh is now president. Go Joshy-poo! On the "ballots", someone wrote, "That sexy beast", Josh Kaplan. We were all assuming that was Josh.

Josh: So were you and Art making out?
Me: ...what?!
Josh: *shrug* I dunno.



"Last night I had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed"

Raked leaves with Key Club for old people today. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. As well as cold and slightly damp outside.
And then home, to several hours of getting the house presentable for going on the market Monday. Tomorrow I can look foward to several MORE hours. Yay. Dave and Tim came over to help today. Dave, Josh, and Art are coming to help tomorrow, along with anyone else I can bug into doing it. If you're interested, call me. Please. We need all the help we can get. You'll get paid $8 an hour, not including lunch break. *begs*




"Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone"

Josh again. I didn't feel my contributions to The Dreaded Snark would be complete until I posted some song lyrics, as Sarah is so fond of doing. Except these are really really kickass lyrics, and aren't by a band who's lead singer sounds like he has not yet hit puberty (I forgive only Thom Yorke and that dude from The Smashing Pumpkins for this.) Anyway....

Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine

Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Me: thanks joshy poo!
Josh: any time, rug-chest
Josh: nah
Josh: rug-torso
Josh: or how about
Josh: rug-girl
Me: hush thy yap, smelly
Josh: at least I wasnt a rug!
Me: at least I didn't smell like alcohal
Josh: nah
Josh: kinda like hand soap and ammonia

Sitting here missing Coffeehouse. I wish I could have gone tonight...bleh.

Josh: I was just like..
Josh: .."YEEHAW NFTY IS SENDING US CRAP AND NOW WE CAN LOOK ALL OFFICIAL AND LIKE WE HAVE ACTUAL STUFF YAYAYAYAYAY"..
Josh: ..and then the damn poster was crooked.
Me: Hahahaha
Me: Ok Josh.
Josh: That just kinda ruined my totally kickass mood.
Me: Oh well.

Josh: I really don't appreciate people sniffing me.

Josh: You look like a rug.
Me: What?
Josh: With that poncho thing. You look like a rug.
Me: You've seen me wear this before.
Josh: Well...you weren't wearing it in such a rug-like way.

Josh: When little kids tell you that you stink, something's wrong.

Rejoice, for the Dreaded Snark now has titles! Yay!

Filmed the next videography project after school today, sadly, James could not add his personal brand of insanity to it because of rehearsal...grr...
First project, I filmed people getting hit by lemons.
This one, me and Pat filmed people getting attacked by people with sticks.

Also filmed the 3 seconds of crowded hallway, during passing time between 6 and 7 period. James came up and did a handstand in the hallway.

James: ...Can I do another handstand?
Me: You want to? Go ahead.
James: ...Think I'll get in trouble?
Me: If someone sees you, yeah.
James: *looks around, does a handstand*

Missing Coffeehouse tonight for the musical shabbat thing at the synagogue. My dad's band is playing, so I kinda have to go. I think I've seen the band play enough. This reminds me of last weekend when us kids were all in the hotel killing time before the musical Jew thing.

Tim: Why am I here? Why are we here at all? Honestly, I think we've seen the band enough times before.
Ben: Hey, hey, your house isn't the one they practice at every day.
Tim: ...I feel your pain.

Hey all. Today on The Dreaded Snark we have a guest author. You guessed it...ME! Who is me? A better question would be "who am I?". But I'll excuse your bad grammar this one time. This ONE time, understand.
I am Josh. Just Josh to you, nothing special. If you so desire you may in fact call me "Daddy", but beware as I take that more seriously than you think. "Grand Poobah" is also an option.
Anyway, Sarah has asked me to use my insanely kickass near-photographic extraterrestrially enhanced memory capabilities to mark down some quotes from Confirmation class yesterday in this time-immemorial opus to her life.
But you see, this post is MINE. The Dreaded Snark has entered the dangerous realm of...Josh's World.
Prepare for the ride of your life. I'm only kidding. It's MY life we're going to be discussing here. My whole life story in fact. I hope you came with proper supplies to camp out for today, as I am about to simply copy/paste 4,658 Times New Roman 12 point font single-spaced pages of absolute glor- ...
asdsdkadOUCHdsjasllTHEFUCKsdsdlhol;weyrojh23o4780
nlerhjlenwuhjGETlsdahkjerOFFlkjsaljhOFjsdljsad34uhfMEashj..
Well, it seems The Dreaded Snark has an automatic Hunter Daemon attack system I was not aware of. To be blunt, an ugly little spawn of Satan's loins appeared in a cloud of brimstone and dust from my computer screen and attacked me. The scars will be on display for whoever is brave of heart and mind.
To avoid another such life-endangering attack from an ugly little bugger who I suspect is related to Shaquille O'Neal, I'll do what Sarah asked and present to you:

Josh: I read your blog
Josh: and
Josh: DAMN STRAIGHT YOU BETTER BELIEVE I TAKE MY WEIRDNESS VERY, VERY SERIOUSLY, NIZBATCH!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: ROFLMAO
Josh: I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING YOU!
Josh: IT IS MY MOST SERIOUS FEATURE
Me: ok
Me: I'd say James is kicking your panties
Me: you better watch yourself
Josh: I'd say James wishes he had my panties

ART'S BACK!!!!

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

OOOOPAH!



Today in Videography we built a fire. Fun fun.


Josh is worried about the competition that James poses.
Josh takes his weirdness very seriously.






"So give him a hug
Tell him 'goodbye'
And 'See you later'
Pray that later will come
Pray this isn't the last time
You will see him
Speak to him
Know he's still here."

I can't believe Bush won. That's all I've got to say on that matter.


Mrs. Kovacs: Okay, Josh, you are not allowed to talk. No more talking for Joshua.

After school...filming for the video project...James doing flips in his Shakespeare outfit, James with his blue gel, everything/one has its/their own shade of blue now. We went to Chuckie's afterwards, James got stuff in all the food groups. Iced tea, slim jims, banana bread, apple spice hostess cupcakes (what were they thinking?), sunflower seeds. He bet that he could eat the whole banana bread thing before we got back to school (about a 5 minute walk), by the end he shoved the whole thing in his mouth, took a swig of iced tea, ended up spraying part of it out, which was actually pretty amusing.

Me: You spat some of it out. That doesn't count now.
James: I had to breathe!


Josh is now my co-writer for NaNoWriMo.

Josh: and u want to use my idea to incorporate EITHER a ROCK AND ROLL IDOL, mass hysteria, an illusion of divine intervention, or extraterrestrial sentient pancakes bent on global domination and syrupy business




“Once you get past the fact that he’s an asshole, he really is quite amusing.”










James: And that's Brent blue!

Oh, forgot to mention, National Novel Writing Month has begun. I've signed up for it, so I've got until midnight on November 30 to write 50,000 words of fiction. If I succeed in this, I will officially be a "winner". Doesn't matter if my story's crap, most of them will be anyway. With NaNoWriMo, it's quantity that counts, not quality.
Anyone who'd like to keep up with what I'm writing, I have a separate blog for my crap story:

http://talesofpancake.blogspot.com

I'd say "enjoy", but any novel that gets written in a month I doubt will be very enjoyable. : D

Don't tell me it's November 2 already. Seriously? Election day? Damn. Time's been going by too fast. I blame mono. Or whatever it is that keeps afflicting me. I feel like I did two weeks ago, except now I've got a sore throat as well.

Yeah, so I got home from the Jew thing on Sunday feeling really tired (logically tired, though) but otherwise fine. Since I'd waited too long to make plans with people, just about everyone else had made their own plans for Halloween, so I'd resigned myself to an evening of nothingness but then I went trick-or-treating with Dave. By the time I got home my throat was killing me and I was insanely tired, so tired I didn't even eat any of the candy I got.

Monday morning, my poor exasperated mother* discovered that I had a fever...so I got to stay home.

And now it's election day. Will Bush finally get out of office? I hope so.



"I wish you were healing
But you're worse for the wear"



*seriously now, I'd just gotten over that stupid not-mono thing, she was counting on me being able to help out getting the house ready today.