27.11.04
And a happy new year...
I had the pleasure of finding a new AIM robot to take out all my frustrations on the other day. Who else but AIM to provide that pre-Thanksgiving holiday cheer in the form of SantaClaus, the robot with the identity crisis. This thing was seriously programmed to trick small gullible children into thinking it is the fact the big jolly one himself, so at first I was rather disgusted. The sheer audacity was appalling. But then, with the help of Jillian, I realized how much fun this programming really was...
Comments
Why Santa Is A Dirty Whore
Chronicled By Josh
squirrelscheese: may i mention the fact that while you claim you must go around the entire world, you only visit those who are christian or abuse our flawed ford and freud influenced democracy, and that is only about a quarter of the world's population
SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That's quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?
squirrelscheese: well, at least admit you are both a bit on the slow side and painfully senile
SantaClaus: What does this have to do with spreading the Christmas spirit?
squirrelscheese: i try to quench the christmas spirit in an iron fist
SantaClaus: The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of wonder, of youth, of care and of giving that binds all of us.
squirrelscheese: no, it's the spirit of christian superiority, capitalistic greed, and shortsightedness
SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?
squirrelscheese: i am finished talking to you, sir
squirrelscheese: i am finished talking to you, sir
SantaClaus: Without a doubt?
squirrelscheese: without a sliver of such
squirrelscheese: without a sliver of such
SantaClaus: Pardon me?
squirrelscheese: maybe you'll understand a more uncivilised and barbaric way of speaking...fuck off, yo
squirrelscheese: maybe you'll understand a more uncivilised and barbaric way of speaking...fuck off, yo
SantaClaus: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter?
squirrelscheese: no problem
squirrelscheese: no problem
SantaClaus: I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?
squirrelscheese: FUCK. OFF.
squirrelscheese: FUCK. OFF.
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squirrelscheese: will you help me commit suicide, santa?
SantaClaus: Oh dear. Maybe I should send one of the elves over to lend you a hand? ;)
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MyopiaLovr: will you give me good hearty santa head for x-mas
SantaClaus: I've noted it. Anything else? ;)
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SantaClaus: So, what is the first thing you would like from Santa this year.
MyopiaLovr: head
MyopiaLovr: head
SantaClaus: Is there anything else?
MyopiaLovr: a blow job from mrs claus
MyopiaLovr: a blow job from mrs claus
SantaClaus: You can ask me all about that after you tell me what you want for Christmas! :)
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SantaClause: Is there anything else you would like?
MyopiaLovr: your balls
MyopiaLovr: your balls
SantaClaus: Ah, sounds like you like to stay active. :)
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MyopiaLovr: i want to get head
SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! :) All right, that gives me lots to go on!
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squirrelscheese: Do you ever violently masturbate to pictures of small children in the "holiday spirit"?
SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?
Twisted Kitez: hahahaha
Twisted Kitez: wow
Twisted Kitez: it's not even that long
Twisted Kitez: but then again
Twisted Kitez: neither is Santa
Twisted Kitez: OHHHHHHH
Twisted Kitez: I can't believe I just made a burn on Santa's penis
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wywh15909: I want to mate with you
SantaClaus: Oh my! I might be able to help out there. :) You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes!
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wywh15909: WHY... ARE... YOU... SUCH... A... SHITHEAD
SantaClaus: Because (obviously) -- Christmas. ;)
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Look, folks, I know what you're thinking....but honestly...I can't even make this shit up.
Kindly yours -
Josh
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