*angryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangry*

I don't like being made to feel stupid about something that means quite a bit to me.

Am more pissed off now than I was before.

I felt better, but then I reread the conversation...wtf?

This will all blow over.

It will all go away.

It will all fix itself.

She promises that I will feel better, eventually.

I know that.

It doesn't help now.

Devon: i have this weird mental picture of a dancing ball of love

and then...

Devon: when the world is ours, we will build a dancing ball of love
Devon: and frolic in sunny fields of daisies with it
Devon: squishing the daisies as we go



Oh Devon...I love you.

so it turns out I was right, seems he never really cared about me...does this make me smart? or stupid for thinking there was a chance in the first place? or maybe just unlucky. people wonder why I've never had a boyfriend...

and this is why devon and kristine and I are going to take over the world.

I almost envy the people who believe you can take back things like a first kiss, and pretend like it never happened...because I'm pretty angry at myself right now, as well as him.

it was all meaningless.

and it always will be.

I should just stop trying and wait until after high school...because until then it really means nothing.

but it's hard trying to stick to that.

Devon: Don't call it stupid! It can hear you!







Don't fret precious, I'm here
Step away from the window
And go back to sleep

*really wanting to yell at a certain person but actually not having any reason to I want to scream right about now*

Spent 9 hours today packing lenox stuff in boxes and typing stuff on a computer. My parents bought out the store that's closing in town, and there was an absurd amount of stuff that had to be counted and packed up. I was tired. I was hoping to be able to sleep in a little more today, but sadly I was woken up at 8. Fell asleep around 2 or 2.30am, quite a while after I was actually tired enough to want to sleep, I waited until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, my idea was that if I was tired enough I'd fall asleep right away without thinking too much and then maybe wouldn't dream, and it worked actually, but then kinda backfired when I had to get up 6 hours later and was ready to go back to sleep all day. And the second I woke up I started thinking again. My very first thought the second I woke up was the same thing I was thinking about last night. My second thought was "crap why'd he have to wake me up." Usually when I get up school mornings I wish I was still asleep simply because I'm really tired...this morning it was more like wishing I was asleep because then I wouldn't be thinking.

I'm going into withdrawal. : D

Josh is lying. I am SO better than him. And he knows it.


A thought from yesterday...never ever ever ever ever let Mouse put eyeliner on you. I learned this the hard way. My eye still hurts.



Devon: You just poked me in the eye with your nose.

FEEEEED the ego. Just smile and nod.

PART ONE (basics)
Full name: Joshua Forrest Kaplan
DOB: 6/25/89
Sex: Male
Nickname(s): Tabouli, Kaplan, Kaps, Cap'n, Frodo
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Blue as the water in your toilet bowl, darling.
Height: 5'6" IM SHORT
tattoo's/piercing : Nah
Lefty/Righty/ambidextrous: Right, like three lefts.
Straight/bi/gay: Straight as a board. A straight board.

PART TWO (have you ever?)
Smoked?: Nope
Drank?: Nope
Had ?: Nope
Made out with someone?: Yep
Stolen something?: Eh, mildly
Done ?: Nope
Ran away from home?: Nope
Beaten someone up?: Nope
Got beaten up?: Yep
Had a medical emergency?: Nope
Gone skinny dipping?: I wish
Watched ?: Yep
Been in a mosh-pit?: Yep
Been to a concert?: Yep

PART THREE (your clothes/fashion stuff)
Shoe brand(s): If the shoe fits, wear it.
Clothing brand(s): Same for everything else.
Perfume/cologne you wear: Nada None Nothing Goose-Egg ZERO
Favorite place(s) to shop: Salvation Army (the one in Putnam's the BEST)
Favorite article of clothing: Teh Hat
Make-up you wear: Nope

PART FOUR (favorites)
Color: Red
Number: 6 and 25
Ice cream flavor: Vanilla in black coffee...poor man's Cappuchino SO SAYETH BUTTERNUTSQUASH (HAIL ROBERT)
Time of day: sometime between 12 and 12
Season: SUMMER
TV show: Headbanger's Ball
radio station: 106.9 (DIE CLEAR CHANNEL DAMN YOU ARRRRGH)
Food: Bagel
Drink: A bit of tea for the lad?
Alcoholic: Nope
Band: NORSK ARYSK BLACK METAL GRAAAAAH (I LOVE YOU QUORTHON)

PART FIVE (the opposite )
What do you notice first about the opposite ?: Hair (creepy, but true)
Best hair color?: RED (followed by brunette, then blonde)
Best eye color?: Whatever it may be.
Best height?: 'Bout my height.
Do you think the opposite finds you attractive?: One can dream.

PART SIX (religion/beliefs/opinions)
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit
Do you believe that good can't exist without evil?: Indeed
Do you believe in ghosts?: Nope
Do you wish on stars?: Giant flaming balls of cosmic gas? Nah

PART SEVEN (love/relationships)
Have you ever been in love?: I just can't tell any more.
Describe your first kiss?: It was cold. I don't like the cold. It helped ;)
If your single, why do you think that is?: I am terrified of relationships and damn proud to admit it.
Do you like anyone right now?: Oh baby *drools on carpet*
Why do you like him or her?: I cannot tell you that upon threat of eternal thrice-damnation of my mortal soul and I just don't wanna say NYA NYA
On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the most, how much do you like this person?: 7
On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you think this person likes you: 8-9
Could you see yourself getting married to this person?: In theory I could marry a llama. An aging llama. An again llama with herpes in six places I didn't even know llamas had. Also in theory a nuclear holocaust could happen tommorrow.
How about having kids with him/her?: Speaking of llamas...
Do you think this person is "hot"?: Like the sun, that sexy sexy giant flaming ball of cosmic gas.

PART EIGHT (who was the)
Last person you saw?: Jillian
Last person you talked to?: Mommy dearest
Last person who called you?: Ian
Last person you called?: Jacob
Last person to disappoint you?: Sarah, for being alive (just kidding, i love you sarah-cakes)
Last person to break your heart?: I have not yet given anyone the proverbial jackhammer necessary.
Last person who made you cry?: See above.
Last person you fought with?: Prolly Brad.
Last person who made you really smile?: Annie
Last person to brighten your day?: Nick
Last person who IM'd you?: Mouse-child

PART NINE (when was the)
Last time you kissed/made out with someone?: Dates don't stick in my head too well outside of history class.
Last time you had ?: February 31st
Last time you took a shower?: 7 this morning
Last time you cried: Don't recall
Last time you went to a mall?: Sometime in December against my will MALLS ARE EVIL PLACES
Last time you smoked?: February 31st
Last time you drank?: Shabbat
Last time you went to a movie?: Uh, Ocean's Twelve January 2nd...I still have the ticket stub lying about two feet away from me for some odd reason.
Last time you felt really, truly happy?: I cannot tell you crazy americans that!

(Part 10-right now)
What are you wearing?: Jeans, Chinese Food Boxers, Simpsons Hoodie, Skin
what are you eating?: Lovely lovely oxygen
What are you thinking about?: This very survey whatnot-thing
What are you doing?: Your subconcious
What are you touching?: ...myself
What's on your bed?: pillow, blanket, shirt, mp3 player, scissors, socks, notebooks, history book, assorted pens and pencils, and my dancing ninja hamster!
Name one thing you can see right now: The BLUE SCREEN OF DOOM...no no...just kidding...still typing
What time is it?: 5:20 PM
What's the date?: January 29th in this unholy year of the Dark Lord Five Thousand Seven Hundred and Sixty Five

Aaaaaand that's all, folks.

- Josh

yeah I think I've actually done this one recently, but there's a few different questions...



PART ONE (basics)
Full name: Sarah Austin Schaffer
DOB: 5/28/89
Sex: female
Nickname(s): sarie, sharaa, suga
Hair color: dark brown
Eye color: green/hazel
Height: 5'7"
tattoo's/piercing : 1 piercing in each ear
Lefty/Righty/ambidextrous: righty
Straight/bi/gay: straight

PART TWO (have you ever?)
Smoked?:no
Drank?: no
Had ?: no
Made out with someone?: nope
Stolen something?: nope
Done ?: nope
Ran away from home?: no
Beaten someone up?: hah, nope
Got beaten up?: no
Had a medical emergency?: guess it wasn't really an emergency, no
Gone skinny dipping?: that'd be a no
Watched ?: see above
Been in a mosh-pit?: no
Been to a concert?: yes

PART THREE (your clothes/fashion stuff)
Shoe brand(s): converse all stars
Clothing brand(s): tripp
Perfume/cologne you wear: none
Favorite place(s) to shop: hot topic
Favorite article of clothing: cargo pants
Make-up you wear: eye liner

PART FOUR (favorites)
Color: red and black
Number: 7
Ice cream flavor: cookie dough
Time of day: 8:30 pm. for whatever reason there isn't
Season: spring or fall
TV show: simpsons
radio station: 105.9
Food: lasagna
Drink: eggnog
Alcoholic: n/a
Band: guster...weezer...bnl...

PART FIVE (the opposite )
What do you notice first about the opposite ?: hair...eyes...smile...
Best hair color?: dark
Best eye color?: doesn't matter to me
Best height?: bit taller than me
Do you think the opposite finds you attractive?: apparently some do and some don't

PART SIX (religion/beliefs/opinions)
Do you believe in love at first sight?: it's possible
Do you believe that good can't exist without evil?: in small quantities
Do you believe in ghosts?: sometimes
Do you wish on stars?: not anymore

PART SEVEN (love/relationships)
Have you ever been in love?: maybe?
Describe your first kiss?: I took his hat and he told me to give it back, I asked why and he kissed me and said "that's why"...and I laughed because that was so corny
If your single, why do you think that is?: according to some of my friends, because I'm "smart"
Do you like anyone right now?: yes
Why do you like him or her?: no idea...he's just so weird it's attractive
On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the most, how much do you like this person?: 8?
On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you think this person likes you: hard to say
Could you see yourself getting married to this person?: technically, I could picture myself married to anyone, that doesn't mean I actually see it happening realistically
How about having kids with him/her?: see above
Do you think this person is "hot"?: mmhmm

PART EIGHT (who was the)
Last person you saw?: joe
Last person you talked to?: joe
Last person who called you?: art or kat
Last person you called?: art or kat
Last person to disappoint you?: no comment
Last person to break your heart?: that's debatable
Last person who made you cry?: devy...you scared the crap out of me
Last person you fought with?: don't remember
Last person who made you really smile?: combo of andrew and phil...ranting about religion after school today
Last person to brighten your day?: my twin
Last person who IM'd you?: joshy-poo

PART NINE (when was the)
Last time you kissed/made out with someone?: tuesday
Last time you had ?: never
Last time you took a shower?: 7ish last night
Last time you cried: bout a month ago maybe
Last time you went to a mall?: I think it was the weekend before christmas
Last time you smoked?: never
Last time you drank?: passover
Last time you went to a movie?: a while ago
Last time you felt really, truly happy?: godspell comes to mind, I'm sure there's been a time since then tho

(Part 10-right now)
What are you wearing?: pants...3 tshirts...hoodie...
what are you eating?: nothing at the moment
What are you thinking about?: no comment
What are you doing?: filling out this silly thing
What are you touching?: keyboard
What's on your bed?: pillows, blanket, book, teddy bear (woot!)
Name one thing you can see right now: little white box that says "AU-REC-6ST"...whatever the hell that means
What time is it?: 12:07 am
What's the date?: jan 28
Are you glad this test is over?: I'm still bored. maybe I'll actually go to bed now.

aww, man...



woot!



took it again.



yay!

53% Of The Internet Loves Me!

I am loved by 53% of the population, including: 27261 people who love goths 44501 people who love writers 30926 people who love quiz takers In return, I love 17% of the population, including: 8031 pagans 35359 artistic people 25154 freaks

show the love at spacefem.com

song, highly likely since Devvy yelled at me for singing it, but I'm not positive. Long title. Ran out of space in the title bar. grr...



I heard you're doing okay
But I want you to know
I'm a dick
I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy but you left anyway

But I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
And it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker

Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
Still a dick
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker

How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you

Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker

Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker

Mindy: Hey, if I were you, I would totally have sex with you.
Me: Wait...you just said...are you saying I should have sex with myself?
Mindy: Wait, n...yes.



Discusions on religion with Phil and Andrew are fun, and not to mention absolutely hysterical.

What time are you starting this? 8:20

Name? Sarah

Nicknames? sarie, sharaa, suga

Date of birth? 5-28-89

Sex? female

Height? 5'7

Eye color? green/hazel

Where were you born? connecticut

Number of candles on your last birthday cake? 16

Pets? a hermit crab

Hair color? dark brown

Piercings? 1 in each ear, not that I really ever wear earrings

Town you live in? gbury

Favorite foods? veggie quiche/lasagna

Ever been to Africa? no

Been toilet papering? no

Love someone so much it made you cry? in a somewhat twisted way

Been in a car accident? no *knock on wood*

Croutons or bacon bits? croutons

Favorite day of the week? friday

Favorite resturant? luna

Favorite flower? pansy

Favorite sport to watch? RUGBY!

Favorite drink? eggnog

Favorite ice cream flavor? cookie dough

Warner Bros. or Disney? meh

Favorite fast food restuarant? none really

Carpet color in your bedroom? offwhite

How many times did you fail your driver's test? never taken

Whom did you get your last email from? mrs wilson

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? hot topic

What do you do most often when you are bored? go online

Most annoying thing to say to me? "you're lying!" (after telling any number of true but apparently unbelievable things...)

Bedtime? technically 10, but only if my parents realize I'm still on the computer at that time

Favorite TV show? simpsons

Last person you went out to dinner with?: mindy and devon and amy...woot!

Been out of country? yes

Believe in magick? eh.

Ford or Chevy? eh.

What are you listening to right now? "cute without the 'e''" acoustic version

Have you ever failed a grade? nope

If you have, what grade did you fail?

Do you have a crush on someone? yes

Do you have a bf/gf? no

If so, what is their name?

How long have you been together?

What are you wearing right now? pj's and a hoodie

Would you have sex before marriage? no

Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? no

Are you a virgin? yes

Do you smoke? no

Do you drink? no

Are you ghetto? no

Are you a player? no

What are your favorite colors? red and black

What is your favorite animal? cat

Do you have any birthmarks? no

Have you ever gotten your ass kicked? no

Who do you talk to most on the phone? art and kat

Have you ever been slapped? yes

Do you get online a lot? yep

Are you shy or outgoing? hahahahahahaha...oh goodness

Do you shower? yes

Do you hate school? not particularly, I hate getting up at 6am tho

Do you have a social life? yes

How easily do you trust people? rather sporadically

Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? yes

Would you ever sky dive? no

Do you like to dance? not really

Have you ever been out of state? yes

Do you like to travel? yep

Have you ever been expelled from school? no

Have you ever been suspended from school? no

Do you want to get out of your hometown? don't really care at the moment

Are you spoiled? when I'm at my grandparents house

Are you a brat? no

Have you ever been dumped? not possible with my record

Have you ever gotten high? no

Do you like snapple? sure, why not

Do you drink a lot of water? sometimes

What toothpaste do you use? crest orange goop

Do you have a cell phone? I have devon's cell phone...that I have been meaning to give to kyle for the last several weeks

Do you have a curfew? probably

Who do you look up to? dan

Are you a role model? I guess so...those silly 5th graders...

Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point? six flags where the hell is cedar point

What name brand do you wear the most? dunno

What kind of jewelry do you wear? star necklace, except when the CHAIN IS BROKEN...rawr...

What do you want pierced? I think I'm set

Do you like takin pictures? lots

Do you like gettin your picture taken? don't really care

Do you have a tan? no

Do you get annoyed easily? yes

Have you ever started a rumor? probably

Do you have your own phone or phone line? no

Do you have your own pool? no

Do you prefer boxers or briefs? blah?

Do you have any siblings? 3 brothers, one sister-in-law

Have you ever been played? hmm?

Have you ever played anyone? hmm?

Do you get along with your parents? relatively well

How do you vent your anger? shoving it into a corner, sometimes ranting to joshy-poo or others

Have you ever ran away? no

Have you ever been fired from a job? no

Do you even have a job? "student aide" 5th grade hebrew school

Do you daydream a lot? yes

Do you have a lot of ex's? ex-crushes

Do you run your mouth? run my mouth?

What do you want a tattoo of? nothing

What do you have a tattoo of? nothing

What does your ex bf/gf look like? n/a

What does your most recent crush look like? hahaha I could describe him in such a funny way...I'll just say odd

Whats her/his name? :-P

Have you ever been bitched out? don't think so

Are you rude? when the mood takes me

What was the last compliment you recieved? don't remember exactly...people say the strangest things

Do you like getting dirty? hahahaha

Are you flexiable? no

What is your heritage? russian/polish/scottish/irish/english

What is your lucky number? 7

What does your hair look like right now? dark brown, right now wet because I just took a shower

Could you ever be a vegetarian? I am

Describe your looks? I look like...me

If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color? dark red

Would you ever date someone younger than you? yes

Would you ever date someone older than you? yes

When was the last time you were drunk? never

How many rings until you answer the phone? depends on how far away the phone is

Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

If yes, when was the last time?

When was the last time you went on a date? umm that'd be never

Do you look more like your mother or father? not sure

Do you cry a lot? no

Do you ever cry to get your way? no

What phrase do you use most when on the phone? woot

Are you the romantic type? sometimes

Have you ever been chased by cops? no

What do you like most about your body? eyes

What do you like least about your body? its pathetic inability to run very fast or very long

When did you have your first crush? 1st grade

When was the last time you threw up? last time I was sick, I dunno

In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? brunette/dark hair/whatever

Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly? no

What about cleavage? say what?

Is your best friend a virgin? don't really have a single "best" friend

Have you ever fucked someone up? hope not

Have you ever been fucked up? in what sense?

What theme does your room have? "teenager's bedroom in a house trying to be sold to someone else"

What size shoe do you wear? 8-9

What is your screen name on AIM? chainsawpancake

How are you feeling right now? tired and confused, as usual

When was the last time you were at a party? new year's

Have you ever given a lapdance? no

Have you ever recieved one? no

Has there ever been a rumor spread about you? no

What is one of your bad qualilties? dunno

What is one of your good qualilties? I'm me

Would you marry for money? no

What do you drive? myself crazy

Are you more of a mommys or daddys child? dunno

So? indeed

Well? yeup

When was the last time you cried in school? 1st grade

Would you ever hook up with the same sex? eh, probably not

What kind of music do you like? alternative rock

Would you ever bungee jump? no

What is your worst fear? death

Would you ever join the army? no

Do you like cows? MOO!

If you were to die today, what would you do? live it up

If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it be? toodles

Do you like to party? meh?

Hearts or broken hearts? blah?

Moons or stars? stars

Coke or pepsi? coke

Favorite scent? outdoors after a thunderstorm

Favorite band? guster

Would you ever dye your hair red? maybe

How many languages can you speak? fluently, one

What time are you finishing this? 8:41 wow this took up 21 minutes of my life and hey people are actually IMing me just as I finish

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Nerd
Your Favorite Band/Song	Saves The Day - All-Star Me
You Like To Read:	Everything
You Firmly Believe In:	Free love
Everyone Thinks You Are:	OMG WAY HOTT LOLZ
You Were Conceived:	In a cheap motel
You Will Marry:	Ghandi
Quiz created with MemeGen!

So. Some of the confusion has dispersed itself, or been diluted. The question of what happens next still remains, but that will just have to figure itself out. I don't really care at this point. Or rather, I guess I do, but not enough to try and figure it out myself. Life goes on.










A swimmer who has seen a shark
I should really be more wary of the water
You came, you saw, you conquered
Everyone
And I'm left here guessing
What went wrong
Yeah I'm down, but not out
And far from done
Beware criminal

Shreya: Just...pretend that my back is a lump of bread that you have to knead!
Me: ...What?
Shre: ROLE PLAY!


Me: You're leaving me?
Shre: Yeah.
Me: Everyone's leaving me today!
Shre: Hahahaha. "Everyone's leaving me!"
Me: Yeah, Art left me before, now you're leaving me.
Shre: I love you! I'm sorry!
Me: That's what he said.
Shre: oooo! Who? Who?
Me: Art.
Shre: Oh. Psh. Art.

listening to "Lola Stars and Stripes" by the Stills...yet another on a list of recently discovered kickass songs. wooot.
I want to make a video project with this song next semester...with me and a bunch of friends just running around and hanging out...just for the hell of it, maybe not even as an official project but just cuz we're cool like that.


"Can you take me back to that place where stars glow?"

Art: and besides, saries are ever elusive creatures that are shy to the camera
Me: what?

So. What DOES happen next?

hopefully to be figured out over the next few days.

there is someone I need to talk to who is never online...

Shreya my love, if you ever read this today, call me.





feeling kinda guilty, as the rest of my family is out shoveling the driveway and I'm sitting at the computer and will soon be watching tv. well...my mother doesn't want my outside while I'm still coughing. so it's not my fault. blah.

paste into a comment and fill it out dearies


AM I...
1. Quiet or Loud?:
2. Short or Tall?:
3. Weird or Original?:
4. Nice or Mean?:
5. Friendly or Selfish?:
6. Normal or "Special"?:
7. Smart or Stupid?:
8. Boring or Fun?:
9. Attractive or Unattractive?
DO YOU THINK I'M...
1. A psycho?:
2. Athletic?:
3. A nerd?:
4. A slut?:
5. Ghetto?:
6. A bitch?:
7. Two-faced?:
8. Obnoxious?:
9. Immature?:
10. Mature?:

JUST SOME QUESTIONS ....
1. What do you think I'll be when I grow up?:
2. (a) Do you think I'll get married?:
(b) If you do... who do you think I'll marry?:
3. When is my birthday?:
4. Who is my best friend?:
5. What song (if any) reminds you of me?:
6. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?:
7. If you could rename me...what would my name be?:
8. Have you ever had a dream about me?:
9. Do you think I'm a virgin?:
10. If you could give me anything...what would it be?:
11. If you could promise me anything... what would it be?:

PERSONAL/Attractiveness
1. Am I physically ugly, average, decent
good-looking, beautiful, hot?:
2. Would you ever kiss me?:
3. If you could describe me in one word wat would it be:
4. Do you or have you ever had a crush on me?:
5. Do you want me?:
6. Do you wish we were closer?:
7. State here your completely honest opinion about me:

Jake: i love those furry little jews!

You're Nick.... what the hell is wrong with you...


Who The Hell Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Had a bad day, don't talk to me,

gonna ride this out,

My little black heart, breaks apart,

with your big mouth.



And I'm sick of my sickness

Don't touch me, you'll get this.

I'm useless, lazy, perverted,

and you hate me.



You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Well I'm waiting for my wake up call,

And everything, everything's my fault.



Went to the doctor, and I asked her,

to make this stop.(whoa)

Got medication, a new addiction,

Fucken thanks a lot.



Had a relapse, I'm outta rehab,

It ruined everything.(whoa)

So point your finger, at the singer,

He's in the pharmacy.



You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Well I'm waiting for my wake up call,

and everything's my fault.



You can't save me,

You can't blame me,

Well I'm waiting here to take a fall,

and everything, and everything's my fault.



And I'm a death threat haven't slept yet,

Baby wide awake at dawn.

Helmet bad boy, tell the tabloids,

everything's my fault.



Whoa whoa yeah, write it write it,

Whoa whoa yeah, write it write it,

Whoa Whoa everything's my fault,

everything's my fault.



I went to heaven, couldn't get in,

For what I had done.

I said forsake me, you said you're crazy

you had too much fun.



You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Well I'm waiting for my wake up call,

and everything's my fault.



You can't save me,

You can't blame me,

Well I'm waiting here to take a fall,

and everything, everything's my fault.



You can't save me,

You can't change me,

You can't save me,

You can't change me,

You can't save me,

You can't change me,(everything's my fault)

You can't save me,

You can't change me,



Everything's my fault.

Yep. Missed exams today. Shall miss them again tomorrow. Gonna have a hell of a time making up 3 exams next week, while I still have to finish that video project as well. I picked an absurdly inconvinient time to get sick.

Blah.








You can keep on crawling away
But you're never gonna escape
No, no, not today
And I'm filling in the empty spaces
Where you, you left your mark
In the soothing peace
Of car alarms and cats in heat
I can hear you breathe
I can hear you breathe
Keep on telling me
Time is no enemy
A worthless struggle
To step back and reconcieve

THIS IS TOMORROW!!!
Since our religious leaders will not speak out against the war in Iraq,
since our political leaders don't have the moral courage to oppose it,
Inauguration Day, Thursday, January 20th, 2005 is "Not One Damn Dime Day" in America.
On "Not One Damn Dime Day" those who oppose what is happening in our name in Iraq can speak up with a 24-hour national boycott of all forms of consumer spending.
During "Not One Damn Dime Day" please don't spend money. Not one damn dime for gasoline. Not one damn dime for necessities or for impulse purchases. For 24 hours, please do what you can to shut the retail economy down. The object is simple. Remind the people in power that the war in Iraq is immoral and illegal; that they are responsible for starting it and that it is their responsibility to stop it.

Well I missed school today, will probably miss it again tomorrow.

Chills are not fun.

Neither is suddenly not being able to breathe because of all the phlegm blocking your throat (lovely thought, in't?).

No way I'm gonna be ready for midterms Thursday.

No way I'm gonna be able to finish this project.

I want to call Jake, but my voice is still rather unpredictable.

I must say, this has been quite the marvelous last couple weeks, no?

Woke up with a fever.

Could not film today.

Will miss school tomorrow if fever does not disperse itself immediately. This is not a good thing, as, 1, MIDTERMS START THURSDAY AND I NEED TO LEARN STUFF, DAMN IT, and 2, still some mad crazy editing left to do on this stupid project. And some small snippets of filming if James is willing to donate one more half hour of his time towards this travesty that calls itself a film project.

Voice was especially croaky today.

Joe: You sound like a man.

Kat: Twin, you sound awful.
Me: Thanks.
Kat: You're welcome.
Me: *croaking laugh*
Kat: Seriously, you sound like a dying person.

ewww stupidsorethroatyheadachystuffycoughysleepyachyickyness!!!!!!!!!

Those stupid sick things where you feel fine in the morning and then towards night you get a bit of a sore throat but you otherwise feel fine and then the next morning it's just full-blown nastyness.

But I must keep this from my mother in case by some slim chance I do end up getting to film tomorrow if she knows I'm sick she will not let me.

I swear, this project was doomed to hell before it even started. At some point I am going to write up a list of everything that has gone wrong while attempting this project. There's a lot. grrr....*snarling at computer* heeheehee

Kinda wishing bridgeport was a little further away from here, then we would have stayed overnight with host families for the jewau thing and I could've seen Jake again this morning. Stupid Maine being...far-ish away.

Feeling loads better today than I was this last week. I have all but forgotten about...hahaha twin, what's his new name now? Jerkface?







"...And I'm filling in the empty spaces where you, you left your mark..."

Back from the Jew-au. Wow that was so much fun tonight. I met a nice Jewish boy. : D His name is Jake. He lives in Maine, which kinda sucks. But he's really cool.
He has a lot of guts. I was dancing with Katie and Hannah and Leigh, and he just came up and started dancing with us. I could never do that, just walk up to a group of people I've never seen before. Hah, we didn't actually find out each other's names until like 20 minutes later.
Tonight was an interesting night.
2nd NFTY event (better than the first one)
1st time actually dancing at a dance
1st time dancing with a boy
almost 1st kiss, I think, but I got kinda freaked out (I just met the guy tonight), so...oh well. : P

I am in a good mood. Very good mood. *grinning madly*

Coffeehouse was last night. Twas a delightful (*cough*) blend if hilarity and depression. Twin, I know you never/can't read this, but do not worry about anything I love you a whole bunch of lot and lots and lots plus one and he is an asshole so don't waste your time and thoughts on him, I know I'm trying hard not to. *snarl*


"She knew what she was really suffering from was disillusionment, but that was something she was not ready to think about yet."







I just can't look, it's killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullibies
Choking on your alibis

So my grandfather had heart surgery today. I love how my parents actually tell me these things. They originally weren't even going to tell me until dinner tonight. It would have been nice to know maybe a day or two ago. It would have been nice to call him beforehand and wish him luck, you know, something nice like that. Do they think I'm still too young to be able to handle "adult" problems like this?

He's beaten this before. He'll beat it now...right?

Now, I don't want to get ahead of myself...but...I love getting ahead of myself. As I'm about 90 percent sure as of right now this is actually happening after...oh...say 3 and a half years, I think I have the friggin' right.

What really sucks is that I'm really good friends with both of them...I do not know what to do.

Today was less crappy than yesterday. First half of the day wasn't that great, I've been feeling slightly ill all day (probably has something to do with spending 2 hours outside filming yesterday and then another 45 minutes walking from GHS to the library with Kat). But I finished my science fair board 5th period and still had time to go eat and talk to Taco and Rachel. I saw Kyle before 6th period, he said, "you don't look very happy", I said, "well I'm really not I feel like crap" so he started dancing with me. When he dipped me I thought I was going to fall but then I didn't (how does a guy with a broken ankle manage that?) and the hilarity of it all made me laugh, and I felt better. Then 6th period I found out that the tape is not broken enough to be able to capture the film from it (yay), and I told Mrs. Copley about all the misadventures yesterday and was actually able to laugh about it. 7th period bio everyone thought that pedigree chart I made was awesome and made me feel special (the key to success is color-coding, it makes it look like you actually know what you're doing) , 8th period I got to work with Emily instead of the 2 schmucks I have to sit next to now (who spent the period putting glue on their hands and then peeling it off when it dried). After school I hung out with people and saw Art's new hair (it's AWESOME) and me and Kerry and Mouse ganged up on Art in some insane parody of a snow fight. I love my friends. They make me smile.

You can find this in the August archives, but I'm bored so I'm filling it out again.


10 SONGS YOU LOVE:
01. Green Day "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
02. The Killers "Mr. Brightside"
03. A Perfect Circle "Imagine"
04. AFI "Silver and Cold"
05. Jet "Look What You've Done"
06. Less Than Jake "The Science of Selling Yourself Short"
07. Matt Nathanson "Wings"
08. The Clarks "Boys Lie"
09. Weezer "Only in Dreams"
10. Better Than Ezra "Under You"

9 THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
01. older brothers
02. snow
03. cars
04. small, shrieking children
05. Art (in the same sense as #1)
06. this computer
07. rap music
08. Josh (see #5)
09. those freshmen who have not yet made the transistion from middleschooler to highschooler

8 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE:
01. older brothers
02. Devon
03. Josh
04. Art
05. James
06. Andrew
07. twin!
08. everyone else you know who you are (sorry there isn't enough spaces to list you all!)
yes I know it says "things" and these are all people oh well...

7 THINGS THAT YOU`RE SCARED OF:
01. clowns
02. heights
03. traffic (mainly walking through it)
04. noises from places that should be quiet at 1 in the morning
05. death
06. losing it
07. Art killing himself on that stupid moped he's going to be getting

6 THINGS YOU`RE LOOKIN` FORWARD TO:
01. this summer
02. getting a videocamera
03. setting up a darkroom
04. driving (sort of...more like not having to rely on parents for a ride)
05. hanging out after school (as an every day looking foward to sort of thing)
06. THE JEW-AU!! YEEHAW!!

5 THINGS YOU WEAR DAILY:
01. star necklace
02. glasses or contacts
03. underwear
04. face
05. nose

4 PEOPLE YOU TALK TO DAILY:
01. myself
02. Art
03. James
04. Kristine

3 FOODS YOU COULD LIVE OFF:
01. lasagna (vegetarian)
02. quiche
03. chocolate milk

2 UNFORGETTABLE MOMENTS:
01. Brooke hugging tents
02. not saying, it's too goofy

1 PERSON YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH:
01. ummm...I could think of a couple friends, but not one single person.

I just shouldn't have woken up this morning. Today was one of those days where everything that could go wrong did.
I woke up at 4:30 this morning, fell back asleep around 6:30, had a hell of a time waking up at 9 to call James.
Kat and I met James down at Chuckie's to film some more stuff. The camera I borrow from the school doesn't work, so we had to use James's camera, except that the battery charger for his does not work so the camera has to be plugged in. Which meant that we need an electrical outlet. So we went into the school and miraculously the gym doors were open so we filmed some stuff in the gym lobby until a janitor came up.
Him: What are you doing here?
Us: We're filming for a video project.
Him: Not in here you ain't.
I was like "shit this is just wonderful" but James did some quick talking and we were allowed to stay in that one spot for 10 more minutes.
So we walked back down to Chuckie's because we really needed a shot on the bridge, so we went inside and asked to borrow an extension cord, they did not have any, so we walked up to stop and shop and James had to spend $14 on two 25 foot extension cords, guessing that it was about 50 feet from the electric plug outside Chuckie's to the bridge. Walked back down to Chuckie's, plugged in the extension cords, and an employee person came out of the store then.
Her: What are you doing?
Us: We're filming for a video project.
Her: Not out here you aren't.
Crap for brains. Once we established that we weren't actually going to be filming in front of the store, we were allowed to stay, but of course it was more like 100 feet from Chuckie's to the bridge rather than 50, so I was like...screw it...and set up the tripod in the parking lot and just zoomed in to the bridge. So it was a really incredibly crappy shot, but at least I got the shot.
What's really frusterating about all this is that I know I could have done a lot better on most of the shots I got, but I'm not going to have a chance to redo them. I'd almost be willing to just accept this project as shot to hell and save it for my final project next semester and think up a new one real fast, except I think James and Kat would kill me. Not that I blame them, with what they had to put up with today.
So. Got home. Discovered something horribly wrong with the tape I used for filming today. If it is broken I think I am going to destroy something...hopefully I can at least get the footage from it onto the computer...hopefully...
Aaaaand...I have an essay, a science fair board, and a pedigree chart due tomorrow. Guess who's printer isn't working? Guess who's email isn't working so she can't even ask a friend to print it out for her? (thanks for getting the pictures tho, Kristine) Guess who's going to be in the library frantically typing/printing/pasting 5th period tomorrow? Yup. Me. If there isn't a free computer...again, I am going to destroy something.
I am smiling. I think it is some subconcious thing to keep myself from screaming. Good times. Good times.

did some more filming today. woot. James need to work on muscle control. And on NOT LAUGHING WHEN THE CAMERA BEEPS. *scowl* We spent about 20 minute on a 2 minute scene because he wouldn't stop laughing. James, you putz...

Kat...oh twin...he is so not fluffy at all. : D

woot twin language!

The one question that remains...why does James have a "bad girl" patch? With flowers, no less.







"I will paint my picture...paint myself in blue and red and black and grey"

It's so great having Sam here when my parents aren't home. Ah, older brothers...

Sam: So what did you have for a snack?
Me: Oreos and lucky charms.
Sam: atta' girl.

Hmm...strangely depressed...stupid movie...movies...film/movie...things...gaaaaaaah.
Requiem For a Dream is one fucked up movie. You should all watch it, but don't expect to enjoy it. Expect to get depressed and maybe some nightmares. I don't know, I haven't tried sleeping yet. Watch it.
After school today...filming for the video project...damn it I should be happy (for them).
I feel kinda like throwing up. I'll be logical and blame the fact that I ate 6 oreos and a bowl of lucky charms when I got home. Except that was 2 and a half hours ago. Stupid movie. Movies. Damn it all...yes, Joshy-poo...I know I need a reality check. *cough* About what, I'm not entirely sure, but I'll figure it out eventually. I probably have already, but it's all subconscious. Devon, I think you are right.
I am going to go eat something somewhat nutritious and see if that helps me out any.

I know it is already five days into this year, but here are some reflections on the new year and the old one.


On the Downside, 2004 Was a Year Where I...


Endured my first heartbreak.
Cried more than I ever have in my life.
Made bad judgement calls.
Altered my life in a way I'm not comfortable with.
Made mistakes.
Left innocence in the past.
Drank too much.
Was afraid.
Betrayed my morals.
Lost trust.
Was hypocritical.
Hurt others.
Hurt myself.
Lost myself.
Felt alone.
Lost friends.
Saw the effects of suicide.
Was angry.
Was self-concious.
Ate too much, sometimes too little.
Thought too much.
Didn't think enough.
Followed the crowd.
Gave in.


On a Brighter Note, 2004 Was a Year Where I...


Moved halfway across country. (why the hell would that be a GOOD thing?)
Gained amazing friends.
Was loved.
Loved.
Found someone who makes me smile.
Saw myself in the future.
Applied to colleges.
Went to my first concert.
Laughed uncontrollably.
Went to the beach.
Smiled.
Hugged.
Kissed.
Cuddled.
Felt at ease.
Grew as a person.


In 2005 I will...


Graduate.
Be accepted to college.
Learn from my mistakes.
Smile, laugh, love, hug, kiss, dream and learn.
Follow my own course.
Not drink to get drunk.
Or maybe, I just won't drink at all.
I won't listen to other people, either.
Find myself.
Lose weight.
Be happy.
Have hope.

Modern World Has Killed Off Common Sense
By Lori Borgman
Indianapolis Star and News

Three yards of black fabric enshroud my computer terminal. I am mourning the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. His obituary reads as follows:

Common Sense, aka C.S., lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium. Known affectionately to close friends as Horse Sense and Sound Thinking, he selflessly devoted himself to a life of service in homes, schools, hospitals and offices, helping folks get jobs done without a lot of fanfare, whooping and hollering. Rules and regulations and petty, frivolous lawsuits held no power over C.S.

A most reliable sage, he was credited with cultivating the ability to know when to come in out of the rain, the discovery that the early bird gets the worm and how to take the bitter with the sweet. C.S., also developed sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adult is in charge, not the kid) and prudent dietary plans (offset eggs and bacon with a little fiber and orange juice).

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, the Technological Revolution and the Smoking Crusades, C.S. also survived disco, the men's movement, body piercing and new math.

C.S.'s health began declining in the late 1960's when he became infected with the If-It-Feels-Good, Do-It virus. His waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal and state rules and regulations and an oppressive tax code. C.S. was sapped of strength and the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, criminals received better treatment than victims and judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional baseball and golf.

His deterioration accelerated as schools implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of 6-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing classmates, a teen suspended for taking a swig of Scope mouthwash after lunch, girls suspended for possessing Midol and an honor student expelled for having a table knife in her school lunch were more than his heart could endure.

As the end neared, doctors say C.S. drifted in and out of logic, but was kept informed of developments regarding regulations on low-flow toilets, mandatory air bags and a government plan to ban inhalers from 14 million asthmatics due to a trace of a pollutant that may be harmful to the environment. Finally, upon word that a North Carolina town council was attempting to restrict front porch furniture to lawn chairs and settees that are aesthetically attractive, C.S. breathed his last.

C.S. was preceded in death by his wife, Discretion; one daughter, Responsibility; and one son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers, Half-Wit and Dim-Wit.

Memorial contributions may be sent to the Institute for Rational Thought.

Farewell, Common Sense. May you rest in peace. Hopefully, in a casket the state of North Carolina deems aesthetically attractive.

- Josh

In the words of Shreya: "boys are stupid."

Yes. That is why we throw rocks at them, or rip out their innards, depending on our mood. I'm in sort of a ripping-innards mood right now. But still amused. : D

Today was Joshy-poo's first day at GHS!! woot! The poor kid had to go to some classes he's already taken at his current school...but just for today.
After midterms, maybe we can all look foward to Joshy-poo 2 or 3 times a week. YAY!!
And Josh...you already know some new people! Devon, Kristine, Kat, Andrew, Taco, Rachel, Annie...assuming you remember who these people are of course...
So next time Josh comes to GHS, everyone say "hi Josh!!!" when you see him in the hall.

And it started snowing 1st period so we went home 6th period...of course the snow never actually stuck to the streets...and it stopped around two and the streets were fine and all...but whatever. I hope there's not a snow day tomorrow. I hate snow, and then we'd just have to make it up at the end of the year.

Hahaha...Art...you and your insanely dark hair...white roots oh man.






I'll sing along
Yeah with every emergency
Just sing along
I'm the king of catastrophe
I'm so far gone
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me
I'm my own worst enemy

You're a Non-box.


What box do you get put in?
brought to you by Quizilla


Now let's see...according to other possible results...what do I think of the other boxes:

Prep: they are insecure and unmotivated
Goth: kind of cool, and I like to listen to them spout the ideals of a Utopian society and poke their funky hair (hell yeah!)
Geek: I secretly want to learn their swifty abilities to wield computer programs and obtain rare imported items thru the internet
Loner: feel sorry for them, but I probably can't break thru their barriers...and if I did, they might kill me
Freak: don't like their hostility and bad manners
Ganster: they're kinda scary

Silly Arthur Davies Quotes From Dec. 29th

there are alot of art quotes, but some of the are wicked funny!



"hello, hot peoples-r-us"

"tell me, i'm hot"

"i'm hot"

"i just realized how hot i am"

me-i hate you
art-But you can't hate a hot person

me-art are you hot?
art-i am so hot

"i wonder how many people wanted me for christmas, because i'm hot"

"don't question me, i'm hot"

"you have to stop right now, in the name of how hot i am"

"i think i'm going to shoot myself tomarrow. but i wouldn't want to deprive the world of how hot i am"

"i'm blaming this on the drugs"

"'cause drugs make me hot"

"i have a new theme song *plays i'm too sexy*

*sings i'm too sexy*

me-i love how you memorized that song
art-because maybe deep down i knew that i was hot

"and none of this is going in your profile because i'm hot"

me-guess what
art-you don't make hot people guess

art-whos a meggy woo
me-i am
me-whos a...
art-hot person
art-i am

"you can't deny hot people love"

"i'm a hot figment of you imagination"

"you can't see me right now, cause thats how hot i am"

"well he's not me, so he's not uber hot"

"you can't force a hot person to say anything they don't want to"

"betrayl of 2 people are the satisfaction of 1 hot person"

"can someone hit me, no wait i'm too hot for that"

"disney world wishes it could be as hot as i am"

"you can't make fun of a hot person"

me-art guess what
art-i'm hot? i know that already

"hey! what did i tell you about questioning hot people"

"thats what hot people do, they drink water to cool themselves down"

"i'd kiss myself if i new i was going to be sick for the next 3 weeks"

"your only sick cuz you got a taste of how hot i am"

*art talking about his bed*-it fell apart
me-why
art-because it couldn't hold my hotness

"i don't need covers, i am so hot"

"it's because i'm hot"

"i am uber hot"

"i mean would you resist if you were this hot?"

"i'm a hot bum"

"'cause the hot person said so"

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally (maybe?). Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home.(only at times) Restless. Not having many children. (..define many?) Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

Nathan came to my bio class today. He apparently has nothing better to do 8th period than sit in on a friend's class and relearn genetics. Kinda funny how Mrs. Cohen didn't say anything after making sure he didn't have a class then...she got him a stool and everything. Also kinda funny how Evan and Jeff were the only ones who asked what he was doing there. Nathan got freaked out by "the red haired guy" staring at him.

After school, saw Art and Kerry and Devon and Nathan, but I had to leave to get my hair cut. My mom and I went to stop and shop first, and about 5 minutes after we got there Art, Kerry, and Nathan showed up. Yay for my stalker posse! w00t. So we hung out in the floral section while my mom was off elsewhere. Art was a naughty boy. I'm gonna tell Devon on you...

Who the hell would want to bother checking the ID of an elderly woman buying alcohol? Come on now. Seriously. She was obviously at least 60. You insane people at stop and shop.

ooo and now my hair is shorter and I like it, it was starting to annoy me. Art I am not going to grow my hair out again! Not for a long long time anyway.




"White lies
Every breath between your teeth
Fine line
Between love and alibis"

Taco: I've decided that you have a large ass, and it's kinda sexy.

Kat: If you want to hit me in the head with an pickax, I'll understand.

Kat: I'm sorry, what did you say? I just got hit by a weiner.

Ken: I can't help that you have woman hips! It's not my fault!



After school...me, Kerry, Kristine, Devon, and Taco stealing Art's belt, stealing Art's spike bracelets, stealing Art's bike, generally tormenting Art...fun times.


Smile, you silly goosefox.

While clicking the "next blog" button, I came across a blog entitled, "sarah, please don't eat the worms." Needless to say, I am amused.

oh man...stolen from...3 different people. it's just too hilarious to not post.



Is Your Child a Goth? Presented by St. Mary's Church

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that
young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.

-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)(HAHAHAHAHHA!)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.(LMFAO!!)

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates.

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.



Umm...I've got about somewhere between 13 and 16...heh.

So I spent the greater part of today either sleeping or wishing I was. I fell asleep at Starbucks while waiting for my eggnog latte thing to cool down...we were at Starbucks while the house was being shown...and I wanted to sleep...and that chair was really comfortable.

After getting home from Starbucks I went to sleep...around 2ish. Mom woke me up at 5:30 to help get dinner ready. I was lying in bed contemplating whether or not I really wanted to get up, and Devon's cell phone (which I now have temporary possession of, and was in my closet at the time) rang and scared the crap out of me. Devon your phone's ring is way too loud. So that more or less forced me to get up. Thanks, Art.

Joe's birthday was yesterday, we celebrated it tonight. Mom created this sugary mass of insanity in pie form. A lucky charms pie. Graham cracker crust, layer of butterscotch, layer of m&m's, layer of marshmallows, layer of pudding, layer of lucky charms cereal, layer of whipped cream. Sarah (Joe's girlfriend) and I were the only one's who ate more than one slice (everyone else except Dad couldn't even finish their first) and we laughed pretty much the entire time we were eating. Now this pie shall be known as the Sarah giggle pie. Sarah's idea, not mine. Of course, now, I feel like throwing up. It all evens out. That was a good pie. It woke me up enough that I no longer feel like I'm about to collapse but I'm still insanely tired. I think it ensures that I will not sleep too well tonight...either because of my stomach being really unhappy with me, or the amount of sugar now in my bloodstream.







Your sins into me
Oh my beautiful one
Your sins into me
As a rapurous voice escapes
I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me)
Your sins into me
Oh my beautiful one

...except for the fact that I am insanely tired beyond belief. Went to Taco's house, slept over there with Sam and Devon...Devon and I stayed up til around 6 am, I actually thought that we'd manage to stay up until real morning, but we dozed off around then.
Taco and Sam fell asleep around 2 or 3, if I remember correctly, which I probably don't. The two of them were sleeping on the 2-person pullout couch thing...at one point Taco sat up (still asleep), looked around, said "fuck" a couple times (...why...?) and then pointed her thumb at Sam and said "Who's that?" Devon said "That's Sam...go back to sleep, sweetie" and Taco fell back over and started snoring again.
Around 4ish I got freaked out by the dog staring at the stairs (I was tired leave me alone) so then Devon and I were both sitting on one of the 1-person pullout couch things and we fell asleep. Around 6:30 we woke up because Devon's phone was ringing, I told her to go back to sleep and she told me to burn in hell.
Art for some reason biked to BJ's house, then back to his house, and then back to BJ's house again, going by the missed calls on Devon's cell phone. Art, if you actually managed to NOT get hit by a car in this time, I will be amazed.
"Law and Order" is a freakishly addicting show. That's how Devon and I managed to stay up so long...we were watching a 24 hour marathon or something...it's so...addicting...like...we were tired but we did not want to sleep because then we would not be able to watch it...and then the marathon was over and this other 24 hour marathon of this show "Monk" came on and I think that's when we fell asleep.
So I'm home now...I was hoping to be able to sleep...but noooo...there's a showing (of the house) at one...so I cannot sleep...I had to help clean and I will be leaving in about half an hour...only to return in another half an hour...and probably by then I will not feel tired enough to sleep, except I'll still be tired.
Anyhoo. Fun times last night.



Devon: Pull his hair! In the p-...wait...no...