meh...so. Sydney died a year ago today. I keep remembering walking down to the washstand and seeing Maggie (camp director last year) talking to the counselors and me trying to avoid her eye but she saw me and called me over and I knew then, she said "your mom called me earlier" and I said "Sydney's dead, isn't she" and Maggie just nodded. Constanze came and sat behind me and I knew all of them were expecting me to cry, but I couldn't, not in front of them. Maggie kept saying all this crazy stuff, telling me stories, trying to get me to laugh, eventually I said I was going to bed and I started crying as soon as I started walking away. Sydney's buried in the woods behind our old house but when I go home it'll be to Keeney Street so I can't "visit" her when I get home. God, the new house doesn't seem like "home", it's going to be so weird on Saturday. AH bringing little kids to waterfront now.