Josh: "I'm being repressed!"
Me: Hahahahaha
Josh: I was watching that the other day and it came to that scene and I was like "Oh my god, Andy fucking Paulo."

Josh: What would I do with a salmon?
Me: ...Store it in the fridge?
Josh: No! I would stuff it in my cheeks like a SQUIRREL!

Josh: I grabbed them out his car...I don't know, they were bright and shiny and you know about me and shiny things.

Josh: Frikkin repressive girl scouts!

Josh: Great, now I have a kibble nose!

Josh: I like long stories. And so does my cat.
Me: Your cat likes long stories?
Josh: Well I don't know, but he's sitting right here so he can listen.

Josh: AAAH!
Me: What?
Josh: It stepped on me!
Me: What did?
Josh: The combat boot! That was inside the big gaping hole in my gut! Or I don't know, wherever big gaping holes are.