Andy: Let's get married
Me: I thought we already were
Me: and we'll have little jew babies and they will grow up listening to rent and other such awesome music
Andy: YES!
Andy: Let's do it!
Andy: Let's go make babies!
Andy: I think they sell kits at Wal-Mart

Josh: Hey, do you need someone to...this weekend to...*makes indistinguishable hand motions*...take care of the...little evil shell things...*more indishtinguishable hand motions*
Me: No, they're fine for the weekend.
Josh: Oh alright then.

I have so much work to do in photography it's absolutely insane. Those pics I took in Arizona just aren't coming out good...it's awful.

I've gone on a poem writing fest lately. Sort of. One each night this whole last week I believe. Yeah I love myself. Don't think I'll write one tonight though I'm wicked tired.

Phil came over today after school which was fun. We went for a walk, looked for that path in the woods on Thompson that my parents insist does in fact exist but I have never seen. We didn't find it. Played some pool, started a movie but the VCR in the basement still eats tapes so we played some more pool until the Simpsons came on at 5. Sarah (Joe's gf) came over as well and after dinner we all watched Joe's Dane Cook DVD, Phil and I jumped on the couch before Joe and Sarah got in the room and Joe said "you bastards" and we laughed because we got the couch. And then we played pool again (so I'm an addict shut up) and Spiderman was on and we watched that for like 10 minutes but then we had to leave.




She says "wake up, it's no use pretending"
I'll keep stealing, breathing her
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes round the yard

She says "if I leave before you, darling
Don't you waste me in the ground"
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes round the yard

...is a cool band. my final video project is going to involve their song "Each Coming Night", not entirely sure how, but it'll be like a music video but not really.

I'm now officially a member of the National Foreign Language Honor Society or whatever it's called. For ruski yazik. And I got a pretty white carnation. And Mrs. Dougan teased me because I was all dressed up with a skirt and blouse and I don't believe she once saw me in a skirt when I was in her class last year. grr...





Will you say when I'm gone away
My lover came to me and we'd lay
In rooms unfamiliar but until now

Will you say to them when I'm gone
I loved your son for his sturdy arms
We both learned to cradle then live without

Will you say when I'm gone away
Your father's body was judgement day
We both dove and rose to the riverside

Will you say to me when I'm gone
Your face has faded but lingers on
'Cause light strikes a deal with each coming night

During hebrew school (little kids for whom I am a classroom aide) they were working on their mitzvah mall boards again (sunday may 1st 10-12 I can't make it but you should all still go and donate to their charities they've been working on this for the past several months) and I just sat in a corner and talked to the kids who were finished and Griffon saved me from being hit on the head with a tzedakah box that fell off the shelf. Griffon's one of the cool ones, but he is very strange. Over the past year he's asked me several odd questions. Such as, "Are you a goth?" "Are you a lesbian?" "Are you bi?" "Are you pregnant?" (though that last one was caused by something Josh had just said which actually had nothing to do with me and pregnancy but I guess Grif misunderstood).

Confirmation was fun tonight, all 3 grades had this big chocolate seder that's really meant for the elementary school kids and it was really silly but we got to sit around in circles and eat chocolate, and, for those of us who were in the back corner, doze a little and use each other as pillows if we forgot to bring one (I brought one! woot!)

Me: What? Why is the locust on top of the TV?!



As a side note, for those of you who read my post yesterday, yes it has been deleted, please ignore it, I really don't know for sure what's going on I should never have written that in the first place. Terribly sorry. Kristine, I'll still show you that poem though remind me.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
I committed suicide:
I said I liked you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

Personality:
Eyes:
Hair:
Clothes:
Mannerisms:

WHAT ABOUT US:

Who are you?
Are we friends?
When and how did we meet?
How have I affected you?
What do you think of me?
What's the fondest memory you have of me?
How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
Do you love me?
Have I ever hurt you?
Would you hug me?
Are we close?
Emotionally, what stands out?
Do you wish I was cooler?
On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
Am I loveable?
How long have you known me?
Describe me in one word.
What was your first impression?
Do you still think that way about me now?
What do you think my weakness is?
Do you think I'll get married?
What about me makes you happy?
What about me makes you sad?
What reminds you of me?
What's something you would change about me?
How well do you know me?
Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
Do you think I would kill someone?
Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

Arizona was wicked awesome we went to the Grand Canyon and Kartschner Caverns and hung out in La Casita and at Twin Hawks (the land we bought out there) and I saw a rattlesnake and took an absurd amount of pictures of everything and Uncle Brian and Aunt Loretta and Rory and Eddy showed up for one day and that was really cool. Rory's 4 months younger than me and about 4 inches taller and he has his permit already because in his state you can get your permit at 15 and liscense at 16. grr.
I've tried to post the digital pictures on photobucket and it isn't working too well which irritates me quite a lot. If anyone wants to see them let me know and I'll bring my camera in at some point or something or I'll figure something out.



"Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?"

Leaving for Arizona tomorrow...looking foward to long plane flights and car rides...*cough*. Walking around the desert with my videocamera/still camera should be lots of fun, but I'm not really looking foward to the Grand Canyon, I hate heights, yet no matter now many times I tell my parents this they never seem to remember...I'll live. And get some nice pictures. I'll bring you back a javelina, Josh.
My CD player has been tragically broken for the last several months, so for 5 hours in a hotel room tomorrow, then plane flight, then numerous car rides...I shall be reading and then when I get nauseous, I brought an absurd amount of paper and I shall write...whatever comes to mind and see what happens. I'll write letters to some of you and might actually mail them, if not you'll get them after vacation.

Mike said something ridiculously hilarious during lunch today but I forgot what it was.

If anyone has any chance to talk to/contact Phil in any way, please let him know that Dave has the hermit crabs. Sudden change of plans, Phil, since you went over to Tim's house and I don't think ever told your parents that there were going to be a couple strange little beasts showing up at your house.

10 days without seeing Phil + all of you other insanely cool people = sarah sad : (

Andy: Can you imagine if we had kids? They'd be so mal-adjusted
Me: hahaha they'd all be insane
Andy: "Mommy, can we listen to Raffi?" "NO! Listen to...Rent. It's happy music"

Today at Pass It On, despite prophecies of doom and what everyone else told her, Taco attempted to make macaroni and cheese in the microwave. I can't believe it worked. I also can't believe she didn't give me any.

"Taco, there isn't a stove."

"You need a pot."

"We don't have milk or butter for the cheese stuff."

"That bowl isn't microwaveable."

"SHUT UP I CAN DO IT!"


She put the noodles into a giant plastic bowl with water and put it in the microwave and somehow found butter and used water instead of milk and just about killed anyone who went near the microwave while it was cooking. She pushed me into the wall. Freaked me out a little.

Yeah that was the highlight of my day. Most of the rest of it was spent being tired and wanting to sleep. Had an interesting conversation with James during lunch though. I swear, no matter how much I try, I am never going to understand how that kid's mind works.





You walk up to her
Ask her to dance
She says, "Hey baby
I just might take the chance"
You say, "It's a good thing
That you float in the air
(In the air)
That way there's no way I will
Crush your pretty toenails
Into a thousand pieces"

Yeah not really in a writing mood at all...just...stuff happening...I don't know memory still sucks I look back on my day and everything that's happened is just a blurry haze in my mind.
Moofus died.
I'm worried about...someone...starting up a not-so-good habit again I can't really say more here but yeah...not good.
Just one of those moods where nothing seems right there may not be much to be upset about and yet there's something surrounding my mind overwhelming me with this sense of...unrightness. It's been happening more and more lately I don't know what's wrong it seems like almost every day at some point I feel like this and I get better and feel happy again so it seems like nothings wrong...and then there it goes again. I feel like I should be talking to...someone. I know now that I can't trust Mrs. Allen at all. (someone out there you know who you are I know you talk to her sometimes please don't tell her anything else about me. I don't know if you have lately and I know you mean well but please don't) Maybe I'll talk to Mr. Paris. He's cool. I don't know.

What does your t-shirt say? by rejektedrockstar
Name
Age
Fav. Color
Gender	FemaleMaleI dunno...
Ta-Da
Quiz created with MemeGen!

hahahahahahahahahaha I love it


I'm in a very strange weird mood right now. I'm not entirely sure what it is, it's most likely not a good mood I think it's a bizarre combination of things mixed with some hyper I was spazzing out at stop and shop today I kept bouncing up and down and mumbling/humming to myself. mommy bought me some halvah (Israeli sesame candy) that stuff is really really gross but I love it and I'm addicted to it but if I eat more than like a tablespoon or two I feel sick but I CAN'T STOP EATING IT and it's sitting on the computer desk in front of me now and I want to eat more...I don't feel sick now...but as soon as I eat more of it I am going to want to puke I should probably put it away but I'm really too lazy. I just ate more of it wow there goes the ol' stomach it is rather annoyed with me now. mmmm halvah. it's like...sawdust with a tiny bit of sweet and an almost unnoticable almost chocolately aftertaste and I like it. And it shall make my stomach not very happy with me but that's okay. The incense did that too I have Joe's incense burner now and I bought some incense at the mall the other day and the one I burned yesterday smelled really really cool and yet after a few minutes it made me feel kinda nauseus and ill but it smelled cool so I didn't do anything about it the one today didn't make me sick though it just smelled nice. mmm more halvah. so today I finally told Phil what's been bugging me for a while and he seems to understand so maybe things will be a bit less confusing now I don't know it's all good. hey my dad left the basement a few minutes ago and I didn't really notice and yet still did so I'm going to put some music on now yay music now it makes me happy wait I need to turn the volume up on the computer...woot there we go. hmm...halvah...no stupid brain it makes you sick! aaaaah yumm. ugh. I think the fruit20 counters the affect of the halvah. woot! hmm Dave is confusing me now what on earth are you talking about you silly boy? hahahahahahaha oh yeah Devon and I never took over the world today, never got around to it I guess. *sigh* always tomorrow wait no we won't be talking tomorrow because it's the Day of Silence and how can we take over the world if we can't talk? I wonder if I'll last the whole day without talking I probably can oh man Andy is going to skip accounting to come sit at the pledge table with me 6th period and Mrs. McGee said I don't have to make that announcement after all since I never really wanted to in the first place. "And like I really deserve the chance to sit around the table and tell you that I think you're wonderful and I think you're something special I guess this is my only change to say I wish I knew you because I'm sure you're wonderful if I'd get to know you" wow I love that song awww sad it's over now time to restart it! hmm yay. *eats more halvah* I think it's the halvah that's making me crazy except that doesn't explain why I was all spazzy in stop and shop and parts of today uuuuuuuuh wow I shouldn't have had that last bite I feel sick now. mmm halvah. I'm going to miss my next piano recital because it's the same day as prom and this is the first time I've actually wanted to go to a recital the song I was going to play is one I really really like and it sounds all cool and whatnot...but alas it shall not be heard by the masses...of elementary school kids and their parents I swear I'm quite easily the oldest kid that Aaron is teaching it's kinda odd being at the recitals all the little kids playing their songs and then I go up, at least 3 years older than all of them and play my classical whatnot except this song isn't classical no one's ever heard of it and the lyrics are all corny and pathetic but the piano in it is AWESOME and I love it. Phil can't come over this Friday that makes me sad but we're going to Arizona over vacation and leaving absurdly early on Saturday so Friday we're going to be packing and cleaning the house and I really don't particularly want to go to Arizona but oh well...mm...halvah...must...resist...gaaaah. yum. sorry stomach. I've eaten about a third of the bar now. haha wow this is insane this is like what I write late at night when I don't feel like sleeping and have been kicked off the computer and so sit up in bed writing whatever random thoughts come to mind except this started as a blog post and just went from there. terribly sorry to anyone who actually read through it. hey someone just walked over my grave...that's what they call it when you get one of those involuntary shudders things and you spaz out and shiver for no reason and everyone looks at you strange. sorry I'm really done now.

stupid boys...they irritate me...I love my friends who yell at said stupid boys on my behalf. Thanks darlings.
Can't really get angry...I'm not...just...bothered...Joe says "it's natural human nature". Apparently he said natural and then forgot what he was saying and continued with human nature.
Hopefully it'll all get out tomorrow. Before Devon and I take over the world, because after that point, none of it matters anyway. :-D

Devon: i'm telling you, when we take over the world, you're so going to be my girlfriend



Joshy-poo came over to work again today.

Josh: Okay, charades. *holds up two fingers*
Me: ...Two words?
Josh: *nods* ... *points to wire*
Me: ...Wire.
Josh: *nods*...*starts to remove shirt*
Me: Wire stripper!
Josh: YES!

Went to church with Phil again today. There were more people in his teen bible study group, which led to even more interesting and off-topic discussions. It's a lot like my Confirmation class, really.
Nikki amused me...I was sitting between her and Phil, Phil said something about me being Jewish, and she leaned over and looked at him (not me) and said, "SHE'S JEWISH?"
Wow those two seem to really hate each other...they were mocking each other for the whole hour...
One thing made me kinda angry, during a discussion that somehow went to what happens after death, Trevor said something like "If you don't accept Jesus Christ as your saviour, you're not going to be saved." I doubt he even thought about it, and I really wanted to say "So I'm going to hell then?" but I was worried about the conversation that would follow that.
That whole group hates "goths", too. Phil and I almost got into an argument with them about that but Mrs. Reed somehow managed to change the subject.

Sarah went shopping with her mommy tonight.

I got a prom dress. I'm happy. :-D
It's all pretty and dark blue/black floor-length sparkly shimmery-ness. It makes me smile.

I'm tired.



Mom: Excuse me, do you have a separate department for prom dresses?
Lady: In the pink department.
Me and Mom: *walking away*
Mom: "The pink department".
Me: ...That fills me with the strangest feeling of foreboding.

Josh: If there were to be a story of my life, it would be called, "That Doesn't Fit There - The Story of Josh". Allow me to demonstrate with this curvy little pipe. It curves, as I do not.


Yeah, Josh came over again today to work. That crazy bastard.

We designed a tshirt for youth group. "The Jew Crew". good stuff.

holy fucking shit, dave.

that wasn't angry, for the record. just...yeah.

I'm glad you're okay...you know you can always talk to me...not that you're really online now.

you seem to have more sense than most of them other people, at any rate.

*hug*








Other Girl: *to me* I know your boyfriend.
Hannah: I know her boyfriend too.
Other Girl: Well...he's in my Latin class. So I know him better.
Hannah: Well he wears a black trenchcoat. So I know him better.
Mike: *whispering to me* What I'm about to say...isn't true...
Mike: I had sex with her boyfriend.

Phil came over today, which was fun. I beat him at pool. Hahaha....

Me: I'd never stab you andy
Andy: Awww
Andy: That's the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me

Sarah has decided that she hates boys.

A lot.

There are maybe 2 or 3 exceptions to this.




Oh, Twin...boys are so evil...


Me: AAAH I HATE BOYS!
Twin: That's why you should turn lesbian.
Me: ...I was just gonna say that.
Twin: Yay Twin!

little late now, but I just realized that I've passed the one year anniversary of this blog. One year and two days ago, I sat down at, not this very computer, but in fact at a rather different computer (the one about 4 feet away from me now), and filled out the little form thingy to create my very own blog, and got annoyed at how I couldn't figure out how to get the font I wanted. Yeup, the ol' blog has changed quite a bit since then.
Happy Anniversary, blog. Sorry I'm two days late. Hope you won't take it personally.

So I almost went mildly insane tonight at synagogue. It was the strangest feeling. After that whole anti-semitism seminar thing I had this severe urge to jump around screaming and punching walls. And punching through the glass display case, that was another thought that crossed my mind. Not that I'd even be able to do that.


Mallow is in fact alive, when I got home from confirmation tonight he was out and alive and healthy and all. This makes Sarah very very very very happy. :-D
He must be so confused now though. He's been buried under sand for the last 2-3 weeks and now he's out and there are two strange beings inhabiting his home. Mallow says "wtf?"
Come to think of it, the other two are probably confused as well. They've had this new home for the last week and suddenly there's this strange being inhabiting it as well who's telling them to get out of his house. Moofus says "aaaaaah he's insane!". Splodge says "I'm going to go hide now."

Yes, I am crazy. Hush.

Last night wasn't so great, awkward phone calls, revelations, irritating decisions, getting upset, listening to guilt-ridden apologies...but it all turned out okay, I guess. We'll see where things go from here.


Went to church with Phil and his family again this morning. My favorite line from today's reading was "...with the doors locked for fear of the Jews..." I seriously had to struggle not to burst out laughing when that was read. Phil tried to get me to go up for Communiun and have the priest bless me along with all the little kids who don't do Communiun yet...I said no. Woulda been just a little awkward.
Went back to Phil's house around 1 and didn't leave until 7:15. We watched a lot of anime. And played cards.

Today was really fun.





Do you know
Everyone you ever swore you'd love for life?
I don't know them anymore
I know their names
I'd recognize them on the street
But I don't love them

Kristine and I are forming a "Prom Sucks Why Are We Going Again?" Club.

Anyone else wanna join?


Debating whether or not I really even want to go. It changes by the day.

So no big irritating discussion on depression, my mom just told me I should go to bed earlier, which I knew already.

There is a bandaid on my hand. It makes me smile. I'm not sure why.

I'm going to go take a walk in the rain. Unless it's not raining anymore. In which case I'm going to go take a walk in damp cloudy weather.

Well yesterday was very interesting. My biology teacher thinks I'm depressed because of a note I wrote at the end of my last lab report, so she referred me to the school psychologist who called my parents. I found this all out 2nd period. I did not want to go home. So I stayed after school, and Devon said that I could go home with her and then go straight to Coffeehouse but my mom said "No you should come home for Shabbat dinner" so Devon came home with me, my theory was that my parents wouldn't talk to me about depression if I had a friend over, and they didn't. Yay! And then she came back to my house afterwards and slept over. And now it's tomorrow, today rather, and they still haven't said anything so I'm getting sorta hopeful now.
Coffeehouse was kinda boring this month...Kristine and Hannah left early, and Devon was with James most of the night. I spent the last hour of it trying to sleep on one of the couches in the old art room. The air hockey tables made a lot of noise. And people kept poking me and waking me up. People like Art and Gerald. Art I pushed over but Gerald was sitting on the other end of the couch and I couldn't reach him.


Devon's insane quotes of the evening and this morning:

Devon: Thank you, my life was not complete without putting my fingers up a cow's nostrils. Write that down.

Devon: It's hard to look disdainful in a banana suit.

Me: I'm hugging a banana!

Devon: I would leave right now if I was wearing a bra!

Devon: Don't throw heavy things at me I'll die!

Devon: Granted, if you threw a truck at me...we'd have more serious problems than just me dying.

Devon: Once I got toothpaste with a toothbrush on it up Sam's nose.

Devon: I'm going to strangle you with James!

*reading*
Devon: "The African rhiner-"
Me: Rhiner?
Devon: Shut up! Rhino!

Devon took the weird squishy wrist supporter thing from the computer. She made it talk. It scared the crap out of me.
Devon: Hello Sharah....don't be afraid...I love you Sharah...

Devon: So where is our friend Mr. Wrist Supporter these days?

Devon: Your bed is really comfortable.
Me: You're going to steal it aren't you.
Devon: Yes. I shall hide it in my shoe and run away!

Devon: No, he was trying to get laid. Well, so was I, but I have a boyfriend.

Me: What are you doing?
Devon: Moving my foot and smiling pleasantly to myself as I think about singing jam.

Devon: Your pillow inhaled your teddy bear or you inhaled your pillow? Wait don't answer that. Unless you have a scary pillow.

Devon: I'm refrigerating your bed!

Devon: Please don't morph into a flesh-eating alien.

Me: It tastes like cinnamon...but not really.

Devon: If I could spin around and you were in my way you'd get slapped by my sleeve.
Me: ...
Devon: You know you want to get slapped by my sleeve.
Me: I want to get slapped by your sleeve? Oh yeah baby.

Devon: Don't make me give you the evil eye!
Me: Devon, would you give me the evil eye? *drops syrup*
Devon: No...you're too pitiful.

*walking in the woods in the rain*

Devon: There's deer crap all over! I've never seen so much crap in one place!

Devon: It's like a bloody obstacle course!





....And the apple jelly shall henceforth be known as the singing jelly.