Informati on
1. name: Your lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
2. single or taken: Single, as celibacy is the word of my father, the holy see.
3. sex: Minor deity status prohibits the revealing of this sacred scrap of information.
4. birthday: December 25th according to American pseudo-democratic capitalism.
5. Zodiac sign: The Cross.
6. siblings: Joe, Bob, Mordechai
7. hair color: Brown
8. eye color: Brown
9. shoe size: I only wore sandals.
10. height: As tall as I needed to be.

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. who are your best friends? The healing powers granted me by my father the holy see.
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No, otherwise my apostles may revolt.
3. any tattoos or piercings: Scrotum...but you didn't hear that from me.

s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: I can walk on water, can't I?
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: Ancient Arabic recipe, I think it includes camel dung.
3. what are you most scared of?: Crucifixes.
5. who is the last person that called you?: My father, the holy see, comes to me in my dreams. I guess he's just not a family type of guy.
6. where do you want to get married?: SACRILEDGE!
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 12 apostles and a goat I named Balthazar when I was lonely and considering cutting myself the other night.
8. what would you change about yourself?: I wish the Romans liked me and Mel Gibson respected me. That cunt.

f a v o r i t e s
1. color: The color of my father, the holy see. Bright Purple.
2. food: I need no mortal nourishment.
3. boys names: Balthazar, Pubert, Achmed
4. girls names: Mary, Praline, Cookie, Balthazar
5. subjects in school: Meditation and Inner Healing
6. animals: Filthy, vile beasts of burden.
7. sports: Mel Gibson is a cunt.
8. ...to watch: RUGBY

h a v e y o u e v e r
1. smoked?: Back to the whole water walking thing again...what are you, a jewish mother gone sadist?
2. bungee jumped?: Only the power of my father, the hol- awww, forget it.
3. made yourself throw up?: In the name of my followers.
4. skinny dipped?: In the name of...uh...oops...SACRILEGE!
5: ever been in love?: With my manly titties. Those manly manly titties o' mine.
6. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Of course not.
7. pictured your crush naked?: Balthazar, make those utters swing li- shit, this isn't my day. Uh...SACRILEGE!
8. actually seen your crush naked?: ...like the hairy little beast you are.
9. cried when someone died?: I meditate with a dash of inner healing upon their final resting place, with my father, the holy see.
10. lied: Mel Gibson is a cunt ON FIRE.
11. fallen for your best friend?: Those apostles do believe in homosexual love.
12. been rejected?: That homosexual love love lovin'.
13. rejected someone?: I accept all into my healing arms.
14. used someone?: ARMS OF DEATH!
15. regreted something?: That whole making Paul crawl up the hill with no arms or legs just to tell him he had a stain on his shirt...and then the whole Roman Guard and Canine Anal Lube incident...and...oh fuck, I give up. It's sacrilege and let's call it a day.

- Jesus...Josh...Jesus...Josh...JESUS