Dudes, I have a new uncle! My aunt got married on Saturday. Sweetness. Congratulations!


Shreya: ...19 year old gay guy showing everyone his tan line...
Me: Matt? No, wait, Mike.
Shreya: Yeah, Matt's a 17 year old gay guy. And if he ever showed me his tan line, I'd kill him.

Mike: Honey, I know about tan lines.
Kirin: Mike, pull your trousers up, these are minors!