Dad: You look like your brother when you're wearing that hat.
Me: Which brother?
Dad (to Sam): You don't see it?
Sam: *grins*
Me: Dan?
Dad: Yeah...except you don't have stubble.


Mindy: Yeah, I'm bisexual...buy me something, and I get all sexual.


Fun times today. Went to Golf Land with Devon, Mindy, Lyssa, and Grace. (I SWEAR, this was in no way shape or form an end of the year celebration for some organization commonly refered to as "Girl Scouts"...)
It took us two hours for an 18-hole golf course. But that’s because none of us can actually play golf. For some reason they gave us two golf clubs. I got all confused because I thought we were going mini golfing but then we weren’t.

Me: ...Why do I have two?
Lyssa: Because you need two.
Me: ...What’s the difference between them?

Really, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing...
As it turned out, Lyssa discovered that belt loops make a very handy golf club holder. Because I was too lazy to switch golf clubs, I used the one for long distances the whole time and kept the other one in my belt loop. I had to remember to hold onto it when I ran though, or I’d trip. Running around on the green was fun. I kicked my sandals off on the 2nd hole because I wanted to walk in the sand trap and then decided that sandals are bad so I kept them in my pocket for the rest of the golfing time and walked around barefoot. Pockets are not bad. They are awesome. I also kept my water bottle in another pocket, and then Mindy’s water bottle, and then Devon’s napkin, because, as Devon said, I have “freakishly large pockets”.

Mindy: I love your shorts.
Me: Thanks. I love them too.
Mindy: Except they kind of look like boy shorts.
Me: That’s because they are. I got them in the men’s section at Walmart. Girl shorts are stupid.
Mindy: I LOVE you! Don’t you own any girl shorts?
Me: No.
Mindy: I LOVE you!

But later I had to take everything out of my pockets so I could roll down a hill. That was fun. But then I got all dizzy and my stomach decided that it was nauseous after rolling down the hill only twice. Stupid stomach.
Heh…on the last hole, I was standing in the sand trap, and Lyssa hit me in the arm with her golf ball. I would’ve shouted “SHIT!” because it really hurt, but Lyssa’s dad was standing right near me. Actually, he probably would’ve found that funny. So now there is a lump on my arm that hurts when I touch it. It’s rather amusing.

Mr. W: Wow, 18 holes, 8 people, and only one wounding?

Between the 8 of us, we managed to break rules 3 through 7 of the 10 rules of the golf course. Let's see if I can remember them...
"No children under age 10 or non players on the green" (Lyssa's little sister, and then Devon for a while)
"No running on the green" (all of us)
"No throwing golf clubs" (Lyssa, Mindy, Grace...)
"No food or drink" (Devon)
I was suprised that there was no rule pertaining to wearing shoes.

And then on the car ride home, Mindy started reading out loud to us from a Studio 2B packet on rape...

Mrs. W: You can get a charm for doing a Studio 2B activity.
Mindy: So what does the rape charm look like?