Happy Birthday Karinia!!!

"Who's Karen?"
"I don't know who you are but happy birthday anyway"
"Who wrote that?"

We saw the video of our restaurant skits in russian class today...it's so great when Drew gets hit with the apple. He pauses for a second, and then just drops out of the camera. You know how most people, when they're falling on purpose, they make it obvious that its on purpose cause they like, put their arms out to catch themselves or whatever? Not Drew. Nope, he just collapses, regardless of personal safety. Which is what makes it so great.

This was my group's skit (translated):

Lauren: Hello. What would you like to order?
Rachel: *snobbishly* Hello. What are your specials?
Me: *also snobbishly* Do you have any good food?
Lauren: Yes, we have very good food. I would recommend shish kabobs or steak.
Me: I don't eat meat! I'm a vegetarian!
Craig: *runs in* I LOST MY CUCUMBERS!!! OH NO!!!
Rachel: I don't care, little boy. *to Lauren* I'll have piro-
Craig: I LOST MY CUCUMBERS!!!
Lauren: I'm not listening to you, Cucumber Boy.
Rachel: I'll have pirogis...(I forgot what she ordered)
Me: And I'll have cabbage soup, carp with mushrooms, tea with lemon, and pudding with berries. (in Russian restaurants, you order all your food at once)
Craig: And I'll have cucumber soup, cucumber sandwiches, cucumber juice, and cucumber pudding.
Lauren: I'll be right back.
Rachel: Go away, Cucumber Boy.
Craig: No! I want cucumbers!
Me: Fine. *takes cucumber out of purse* Have a cucumber.
Craig: Yay! And Cucumber Boy lived happily ever after.

Craig didn't memorize all of his lines, so he put the script inside one of the menus. It was kinda funny watching it on tape. All of us sitting around the table...Rachel and me scowling at Craig...Craig holding his menu frikkin sideways and staring at it as he recited his lines. Our teacher had noooo clue...*coughcough*
Yeah, ours was the most pathetic of the bunch.

From other skits (also translated)

*Danielle: *after trying to order several different kinds of food* What are your specials?
Sam: Stamps are 50% off.
Danielle: What?
Sam: This is a POST OFFICE!!! HO-HO-HO-HO!!! (With his trademark laugh that no one can duplicate or adequetely describe.)

*Joe 2: BOOM!
Joe 1: Soup's done!

*Jess: This is a horrible restaurant!
Joe 1: What's wrong?
Jess: The waiter is stupid and ugly!
Annette: We don't like ugly people!
Joe 1: There's nothing I can do about that.
Jess: *pause*
Joe 1: *points to fork*
Jess: *pause*
Joe 1: *taps fork*
Jess: *picks up fork* *shoves it in Joe 1's face* *pause*
Joe 1: *laughs* (these last 6 lines were Jess forgetting her next line)
Jess: This fork is dirty!
Joe 1: *licks fork* There, it's clean!